I CRASHED Kim Kardashian’s ultra-exclusive VIP launch of her London Skims store in a £35.99 knock-off jumpsuit – and ended up sipping dirty martinis with the A-list.
Arriving at the top-secret Regent Street bash in the pouring rain after a long day at work, I was armed with nothing but a mission and the confidence to somehow convince everyone I was wearing Kim’s Skims brand.
Amazingly, it worked.
In fact, I’d bought my entire outfit, a £35.99 Bershka gym jumpsuit, on the way there — and everyone believed it was one of Kim’s £116 creations.
And, after a humbling 30 minutes in the rain, I blagged my way inside at 7.40pm on Friday.
A couple of months ago I trekked down to an MPS Body and Paint car garage in Kent to recreate Kim’s Met Gala outfit.
Now I’d gone one step further and found myself inside her crazy world — with the crowds parting like the Red Sea as the 5ft 2in brunette bombshell stepped inside.
Security assumed I had been there from the start and began backing everyone else up behind me.
Before I knew it, I was apparently first in line for a selfie with Kim — and I certainly wasn’t about to correct them.
Kim, 45, looked incredible in a custom leather Ludovic de Saint Sernin gown and, despite my unconvincing Skims impersonation, told me: “It’s lovely to meet you, you look amazing.”
Sadly, I later heard her parrot that to every other person she met in the plush new shop, so alas the compliment wasn’t just rolled out for me.
Famed for her selfie taking, and as one of the most photographed women in the world, it came as little surprise that Kim takes this very seriously.
And as I stepped forward for my snap, I was almost blinded as one of her assistants suddenly held up a huge dazzling torch over our faces.
But after a day at work and a trek through the rain, I have never been more grateful for good lighting.
Kim had three outfit changes throughout the night and I’d already experienced one of them from the front row.
Earlier, I found myself at the front of a queue for the loo when Kim was suddenly escorted ahead of everyone.
In what felt like the longest wardrobe change in history, at least ten people were left waiting cross-legged before she eventually emerged in the same dress.
Kim later fully committed to the change and slipped into a brown leather corset and a floor-length skirt.
Her third and final look of the night was a tight-fitting, nude two-piece which drew gasps of appreciation from the seven people glued to her side at all times.
As well as two burly security guards — and her lighting flunky of course — she spent the evening with Ludovic, the man who had designed her gown, Tracy Romulus Nguyen — chief communications officer of Skims — and two other assistants who were on hand to bat away anyone trying to get more than Kim’s pre-planned compliment out of her mouth.
Three immaculate bars were dotted around the store, serving gorgeous cocktails in translucent and nude shades to match Kim’s three looks.
Staff floated around with the prettiest — and tiniest — canapes I’d ever seen, from tuna tartare to miniature potatoes smothered in caviar.
I feared I’d be starving by the end of the night, but thankfully the microscopic morsels of food were eventually replaced with much more substantial burgers and fries.
I also made good use of the bar, sipping dirty martinis with celebs including Emma Grede, Rochelle Humes, Love Island’s Lorenzo Alessi and rapper Central Cee.
Kim’s famous hairdresser and current Strictly contestant Chris Appleton was also never far from her side, checking up on her hair throughout the evening and constantly patting down stray flyaways.
Just under two hours later, Kim was whisked away to an afterparty, held in lavish private members. club Maison Estelle. She used a secret lift to escape the 200 fans who had gathered outside.
My exit was a little more down to earth and, naturally, I got my hands on two Skims goody bags before jumping on the Northern Line home.
Inside one of them was an unreleased branded tracksuit worth £220, which some cheeky party-goers have since put on eBay for almost double the price.
Given how much of an upgrade it was from my Bershka number, I’ll be holding onto mine.