A DEEPLY disturbing man has the stamina to go out on Monday to Thursday evenings and wants to know if you are ready to join him.
Marketing manager Martin, not his real name, is possessed with a demonic energy which makes him able to go out for a pint, a movie or even a pub quiz when he has completed eight hours of soul-crushing work and has a presentation to give tomorrow.
He said: “I clock out at five and don’t go to bed until past 11pm. So, against popular convention, I like to spend that time doing things other than phone and telly.
“I don’t just go drinking. Sometimes I go to a gig or visit a friend. It’s amazing what you can achieve, even in such a short window, when pointless toil hasn’t completely sapped your will to live.
“Tonight I’m going to a dance class then swinging by the bookshop for a thought-provoking lecture. Your body will be completely knackered but your life will be enriched. Come along! What have you got to lose?”
Fellow colleague Joanna Kramer said: “I do things in the evening too, mainly wanking and eating McDonald’s in bed like a normal person.
“If he wants to do things at night he should go and live in London, where they cater to sick beasts like him. But because he doesn’t work until 10pm he can’t afford to. Hah.”