A COUPLE meeting up for the third time have already exhausted all the entertaining anecdotes they have to share.
Despite having only been on three dates, potential partners Jack and Lauren, not their real names, have already discussed the highlights of their respective lives and now have nothing of interest left to say to each other.
He said: “I thought my horizon-expanding trip to Japan would sustain at least a few months of dates. But Lauren’s already glazing over when I talk about riding the Shinkansen to Buddhist temples.
“The time I ran a marathon? Blown on the first date. As was the tale of when I thought I’d won the lottery. I should have known to keep something gripping in reserve, but I was just so pathetically desperate to maintain her attention.
“Now all I’ve got left to discuss is what happened to me during my actual daily life, which is boring as f**k. I’ll save Lauren the hassle of ghosting me by dumping her now.”
Hewitt said: “Jack’s being hasty, we can create our own fun stories. They’ll bring us closer together and when we break up we’ll have something to tell our next dates about.”