During the mass shooting at Michigan State University this week, Lauren Hudson heard many of the noises she heard in the first mass shooting she survived: people screaming, doors slamming and the thwacks of furniture as students rushed to barricade themselves.

In her 14 months recovering from the Oxford High School shooting, loud noises have persistently tormented Hudson. On Monday, her body shook. She cried. She wondered whether she would survive a second shooting. She wondered whether multiple gunmen surrounded her. Whether the shooting had been planned.