Indecisive true crime fan still has no idea how she’d get rid of a body
A FAN of true crime podcasts has yet to decide on what is definitively the best way for her to dispose of human remains. Ellie…
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A FAN of true crime podcasts has yet to decide on what is definitively the best way for her to dispose of human remains. Ellie…
A MOTHER has set a new British record for totally losing her shit on the morning school run. Linga, not her real name, from Staffordshire,…
MILLENNIAL slang is out of date and should be replaced by Gen Z slang, apparently. Here’s how to look ‘with it’ even if no one…
ONLOOKERS are uncertain how to respond after realising that a man mansplaining to a woman is in fact correct and entirely right to do so.…
THERE’S no one, single way to live your life, but there are plenty of stupid quotes you shouldn’t listen to. Sadly, idiots swear by all…
A BENEVOLENT motorist has permitted a group of pedestrians to cross the road with a noble flourish of his wrist. Ron, not his real name,…
A FRIEND from London has asked you to let her know by this afternoon if you are free for a drink in two-and-a-half months. Hannah,…
A FATHER of young children has said what he would really like for Father’s Day is some f**king peace in an empty house. Dave, not…
DELUDED parents think a choice of university is based on the courses and quality of tuition. As if. These are the real reasons: Nightlife University…
MIDDLE-AGED women seeing 20-something girls dressed in cargo pants, faux fur gilets and bandanas have confirmed they are delighted by how ugly modern fashions are.…
A TEACHER at a comprehensive is starting to doubt whether she even wants to put her dickhead pupils on a path to a brighter future. …
A COMMON-LOOKING couple in a fancy restaurant were only there because of an internet voucher, according to fellow diners. The overdressed pair were disconcertingly excitable…
SPELLING their name in a bizarre way rarely masks the fact that someone is crashingly dull. Do you know one of these people? Becci, Bekki,…
A MASSIVE arsehole you used to work with is now quite senior at another company. 31-year-old Tom Logan, who just used to go on football…
A MARKETING executive wrongly believes his skills will be useful in a variety of situations, including a catastrophe. Tom, not his real name, thinks his…
ARE you a workplace twat who wants to ruin people’s weekends? These emails will ensure your colleagues return on Monday stressed and unhappy. ‘Can we…
HAVING just returned from France, which is shit, Grace Wood-Morris can state definitively that it does not count as a proper holiday abroad. She explains: …
THE government is to take the issuing of sick notes from GPs and hand it to a panel of specially selected sadistic bastards. The panel…
A FATHER has been caught up in a nightmarish telephone conversation with his daughter lasting almost five minutes. Unsuspecting dad Martin, not his real name,…
A PAIR of men in their 40s fear they may inexorably move from being comfortable acquaintances to full-blown friendship. Over the past few years, Martin…