‘Mate’ and four other infuriating things bosses call you
WE’RE not their pal, buddy or anything else, but bosses still insist on being massively overfamiliar. Here are some of the most annoying workplace nicknames. …
Dads looking for new foods to air fry
FATHERS have confirmed that they are excitedly searching for new things to air fry. Having initially experimented with air frying in a bid to cook…
Woman listening to friend’s problems interrupts to explain how she would have handled them better
A WOMAN listening to her friend’s woes has stopped her to explain how she would have dealt with the situation far more effectively. Sophie, not…
‘I didn’t know you existed’: How to avoid getting your colleagues anything from the shops
YOU need something from the shops, but you’re surrounded by hungry, bored colleagues waiting to put in detailed requests. Here’s how to avoid being their…
‘It’s only a cold so piss off,’ says GP’s answerphone
THE pre-recorded message on a GP’s answerphone has advised anyone who has symptoms of a seasonal cold to put the phone down and piss off. …
Northern man almost added kisses to text message
A MAN from Leeds came within a split second of putting a row of Xs at the bottom of a text message to a woman he likes. …
How to guiltily explain to your millennial friends that your parents are buying you a house
HAVE you spent years moaning about being part of ‘generation rent’ but now your parents are bunging you some cash for a house? Here’s how…
A month ago you were drunk by now
JUST one month ago you had already downed several glasses of Prosecco by this time, it has been confirmed. Exactly 31 days, or ‘sleeps’, have passed since…
Necessary to put on little show when late
EXPERTS have confirmed it is necessary to put on a little show when arriving late for work. Despite it making no difference to actual lateness,…
Your guide to being an annoyingly inconsistent vegetarian
MEAT-eaters usually grudgingly respect veggies’ healthy, ethical lifestyle choice. But not the ones with extremely arbitrary ‘rules’ they think it’s fine to break. Such as these… …
But what’s actually wrong with ‘friends with benefits’, ask men
MEN are struggling to understand why women are so disapproving of a nice, cosy ‘friends with benefits’ scenario. Seeing it as the best of both worlds, men…
Gen Zer forced to explain every word in sentence ‘It’s giving let the GOAT cook vibes’
A YOUNG person has been made to explain every single syllable of the latest indecipherable sentence they have spouted, it has emerged. 20-year-old Max, not…
64-year-old thinks he deserves birthday party
A MAN is so full of himself he believes he deserves a party to celebrate his 64th birthday. Kevin, not his real name, from Portugal,…
Six hair mistakes from history Gen Z refuse to learn from
THE mullet is a warning from history, but for all Gen Z’s supposed social awareness it is a warning they have failed to heed. They…
‘Dry January’ man accused of putting long-term health before mates
A MAN having a month off alcohol is putting his concerns about life expectancy before his mates, it has been claimed. 60-year-old Malcolm, not his…
Couple doing almost-dry January by only drinking what’s left
A COUPLE are doing their own version of dry January by only drinking leftover Christmas alcohol. Keven and Kah Heng, not their real names, have…
Classic movie moments your boyfriend talks over with behind-the-scenes trivia
WHEN your boyfriend suggests watching a film, he doesn’t want to engage with the story – he wants to show off his little facts to…
48-year-old stops ageing entirely by pursuing women in their 20s
A MAN who would otherwise be quite old has stopped the ageing process in its tracks by only pursuing much younger women. Dave, not hos real name,…
Man still thinks he’s slim
A MAN who has put on a fair bit of weight over the years still sees himself as a slim, attractive 20-something, it has emerged. …