Looking back, there is so much that I wish I’d known when I first started experimenting with my sexuality. All the stigma I grew up with around HIV and queerness made me want to suppress who I truly was. And because of these stigmas, I was afraid to test for HIV during my teenage years.

Finally, I had no choice but to test, as I had left an abusive relationship and needed to take control of my own sexual health. My first testing experience was very intrusive. The healthcare professional didn’t believe me when I told him I slept with men and even questioned whether I knew what being gay meant. I felt incredibly uncomfortable to the point where I wanted to leave the testing room. It made me feel like getting tested was something to be ashamed of because of my sexuality.

Homophobia, transphobia, and biphobia are barriers that prevent a lot of people from coming forward to test for HIV. When I was 17 years old, I came out to some of my relatives and the response was: “It’s cool that you’re gay, but just don’t get HIV.” Their fear-mongering associations terrified me. It made me afraid to live my sexuality authentically.

It wasn’t until I moved to London and visited Dean Street that I realised that testing was nothing to be embarrassed about. Many people in the LGBTQIA+ community test regularly and understand that taking control of their sexual health is empowering.

HIV is now a very open conversation for me, my friends, and within my communities. As soon as I found out about PrEP, I went on it straightaway. Before I hook up with anyone, I will always ask them when they last got tested and whether they’re on PrEP. Most people I encounter will ask me about my sexual health too. The openness of people disclosing and discussing their sexual health statuses on dating apps is an incredible step forward towards HIV prevention.