Sun. Feb 9th, 2025
Occasional Digest - a story for you

VALENTINE’S DAY can be a date for disaster, with thousands buying the person they love unromantic gifts.

Relationship expert Rebecca Dakin said: “While many of us love a sense of humour and to be laughed into bed, it’s also important not to forget romance, too. So try to strike a balance when buying a present for your Valentine.”

Ironing board cover with Valentine's Day design.

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Buying an ironing board cover for your loved one may be seen as urging them to do choresCredit: Amazon
Two fried eggs on toast.

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A special kitchen tool to fry eggs in a very suggestive manner is on saleCredit: Firebox

Here, Rebecca reveals her choice of gifts to avoid this year – along with those that are so bad they are almost good!

Willy egg

“HOW do you like your eggs in the morning?” used to be a corny chat-up line.

How about air-fried in the shape of a man’s private parts? This willy egg fryer is £5.99 from firebox.com.

Underwear

Red lace lingerie set with "CUSTOM" spelled out in gold rhinestones.

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Buying custom underwear could be a good idea – and go badly if you get the name wrongCredit:

YOU could easily strike a bum note by putting the wrong customised message on lingerie – so choose your words carefully!

READ MORE ON VALENTINE’S DAY

This £4.99 set is from etsy.com.

Mug

Stainless steel mug with carabiner handle; text reads "Couples that fart together stay together".

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Temu’s steel mug has a very unromantic message for couples to drink toCredit: Temu

Nothing says romance less than giving your lover a £5.19 stainless steel mug from Temu with the words, “Couples that fart together, stay together”.

Loo roll

Toilet paper roll with poop emoji and "I heart the outta you!" design.

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Valentine’s toilet roll might end up being the least romantic gift you can buyCredit:

A Valentine’s message that includes the poop emoji on a £7.99 loo roll from Amazon might wipe a lot more than the smile off your partner’s face.

Ironing cover

Every couple has to iron out problems, but a £15.99 Happy Valentine Day ironing board cover from Amazon might cause an extra one.

The exception is if they’ve been dropping hints for one – otherwise steer clear of any gift that screams “household chores”.

Spoon

Wooden spoon engraved with "All I got for Valentine's Day was this spoon" and a poop emoji.

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This wooden spoon is a sure way to make your partner feel unlovedCredit: Amazxon

TALK about causing a stir.

A wooden spoon etched with, “All I got for Valentine’s was this” might make some chuckle, but it could land you in trouble – £5.99 from amazon.co.uk.

‘Dying for those’ cry shoppers as they sprint to Sainsbury’s for Valentine’s PJs

Steak hearts

Heart-shaped Valentine's Day gift of meat in a wooden box.

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These specially carved heart shaped steaks come at a price of £21Credit:

Everyone wants to give their heart away at Valentine’s – but not necessarily in the form of a steak.

This selection is £21 from Japanese butcher Kikuk Takahashi.

Pork pie

A heart-shaped pork pie on a black plate, with champagne flutes and roses in the background.

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A pork pie with a heart decor is not the most romantic Valentine’s mealCredit:

THEY say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach – but unless he’s a pork pie fan, you might want to avoid this – £8.50, Ye Olde Pork Pie Shoppe.

Pants

Boxers with a woman's caricature and the text "All Mine".

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This set of boxers might make some smile – while others would think they are too rudeCredit: Firebox

THIS pair of boxer shorts (£21.24 from firebox.com) can be personalised to feature you hugging your chap’s bulge. Which, quite frankly, is a load of old pants.

Fork

Fork with "I forking love you" engraved on it.

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An engraved fork is one way to get your message across – why not buy a card instead?Credit:

Gifting £4.99 cutlery from Amazon engraved with the words, “I forking love you” might make the table talk on Valentine’s Day somewhat awkward.

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