SHARING a heartfelt plea on Facebook, Stephanie Barwell writes the exact same desperate words she always does about her gran who vanished from a caravan site without trace.
“No she didn’t kill herself, no she didn’t just go for a random swim in the sea…no she hasn’t left the country, she is missing,” she writes.
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“Vanished without a sight…Someone knows exactly what happened to our nan that night and where she is now.”
She makes a silent wish as she clicks ‘post’ that this will be the year she’ll finally find out why her gran, Anne Simpson, who would be 80 now, disappeared one November day.
In the past, the anniversary of her disappearance has been a poignant occasion for Stephanie and her family.
They’d release balloons and reminisce about their memories with the adored mum of five and nan of eleven – but now their grief keeps them apart.
So with every passing year it’s Stephanie, 38, who makes another plea for information to unearth the truth about the day Anne disappeared.
She says: “Everyday you wake up thinking ‘is today the day someone’s going to find her, is today the day we’re going to get some news?’ because through all of it you can’t grieve for somebody that isn’t laid to rest.”
And now, 20 years on from Anne’s disappearance in Skegness, Lincs, she says she won’t rest until she’s found.
She says: “I am constantly thinking of the what ifs. What if she doesn’t know where she is, what if somebody is keeping her?
“We feel robbed of the years we could have spent with nan and we have spent years in turmoil.
“She has missed out on so much. She now has three great, great, great grandchildren, she missed my wedding and the birth of my three kids.
‘We’ve spent years in turmoil’
“She would have had a big part to play in all of those things.”
The 60-year-old had been drinking at a bar at the seaside resort of Ingoldmells, Lincs, when she walked home alone to their nearby caravan where she lived with close companion, Tom Rogers.
He had left earlier after the couple argued.
Tom, a man she lived with, said he had gone to bed and heard her arrive at the van shortly after but at around 11pm, she said she was going back out.
Anne left her handbag and purse behind and has never been seen since.
Stephanie, a mum of three who lives in Leicester, says that while they hold on to the slither of hope, in reality they’re almost certain she died all those years ago.
“It’s now important to find out what happened to her, find her body and bring her back home,” says Stephanie.
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‘Life and soul’
Stephanie and the family used to be close, and the school kitchen assistant has wonderful memories from her childhood.
Tom, a railway worker, received free train tickets which he’d use to take Anne and her grandchildren to the coast.
Stephanie recalls: “I’d always stay over at nan’s for sleepovers and nan would often take us to the seaside on a weekend with Tom.
“Tom was six years younger than nan and although they weren’t officially an item, they had a relationship where they did everything together, although they didn’t share a bedroom.
“My nan was the cool nan. She was always glamorous and loved her jewellery and earrings. She was the life and soul of the party and loved dancing.
“She was amazing. She was never afraid to be silly and us kids loved it.”
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A fresh start after family tragedy
Stephanie always considered 6ft 3ins Tom to be her grandad because he’d been in her nan’s life for 20 years by the time she went missing.
She recalls Tom and Anne having a good relationship on the whole, but their arguments were heated and involved swearing and name calling.
Tragedy rocked the family in 2001 when Anne’s second youngest daughter Jennie, died from breast cancer.
Struggling to cope afterwards, 5ft 2ins Anne lost her sparkle, until a fresh start.
Tom received a pay out after falling down a manhole at work and they sold their home in Lincolnshire and bought a caravan at the Coastfields Holiday Village, Ingoldmells.
“The move to the seaside was massive for her. We got our old nan back,” says Stephanie. “She was more active, was losing weight and had a spring in her step.”
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Final fond memories together
But in July 2004, just six weeks after relocating, Anne went missing.
Stephanie, who was 18 back then, had spent the weekend with Anne, her mum Josie, sister Laura and her two children.
They went to nearby markets and swam at the onsite pool until the family headed home on the day Anne vanished, Sunday September 26, 2004.
Stephanie says: “We went along to the club and nan was telling everybody who we were like she was really proud of us.
“We left on Sunday full of good spirits and cheerful goodbyes and I love yous. I was heavily pregnant and due to give birth any minute.”
The family planned to visit again at Halloween so they could celebrate the new arrival.
But that was the last time they saw Anne, who had planned to go to the local pub, The Bell Inn, with Tom that same night.
“We got a call from Tom the next morning at around 7.30am to say nan had gone missing, and that he thought she’d walked into the sea,” says Stephanie.
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‘It was so heartbreaking’
Recalling how the family was frantic with worry, Stephanie says: “My mum, Josie, and one of her sisters Jackie, went over straight away.
“By the time they got there the police had been informed and they’d started to search.”
As time went on the family continued to go back and forth to help in the search and plastered photos of Anne on posters around the seaside resort.
However, when Anne didn’t call her youngest grandchild, Aleshia, on her fourth birthday on October 8, they began to fear the worst and in retrospect, this could be the heartbreaking early clue that Anne was most likely no longer alive.
Stephanie explains: “Nan had a ritual where she would ring us every birthday at 6 o clock and sing Happy Birthday. She never missed that, ever.
“We’d been waiting to see if Aleshia would get a call and when she didn’t it was so heartbreaking.”
Agony turns to anger
As the mystery rumbled on, the family felt angry about the police investigation.
They were unhappy that information was being passed to Tom, even though he wasn’t Anne’s next of kin.
He had told police that Anne was an alcoholic who was feeling suicidal and he thought she had walked up to the clifftops and jumped into the sea.
Stephanie believes it hindered the searches.
“The police hadn’t spoken to us at all and were just taking his word for it,” she says.
“The early searches out at sea were looking for the body of someone who had jumped from a cliff, never considering any other circumstances.”
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‘It didn’t make sense’
While the family didn’t pin Anne’s disappearance on Tom, they questioned his actions.
“Tom started giving Nan’s belongings away straight away. We didn’t get anything.
“We got a plastic bag full of bills and some glasses that she never even wore, my mum was furious,” adds Stephanie.
”We don’t even have all her lovely photos. We only have the ones that we have taken.
”We didn’t, for a moment, think that Tom would have harmed nan in any way but it all didn’t make sense.
If you remember these men, or you are one of these men, I beg you to please come forward to help us.
Stephanie
“We couldn’t understand Tom’s explanations because we knew Nan wasn’t unhappy or was an alcoholic.
“Nan would have never gone out with her handbag and purse, she even took it to the toilet with her.
”She also couldn’t have walked up a steep hill to jump from a cliff because she couldn’t walk far after an accident at work in her 50s.”
A key clue to solve the mystery
The family later discovered from the pub landlord that Tom and Anne had been sitting with two guys in the bar, and they had left with him – these men have never been identified.
However, a description was never provided so there were no leads to trace them, and Stephanie believes they could hold the key to solving the mystery.
She says: “We still need to find out who these two men were and what they were doing with Tom. If you remember these men, or you are one of these men, I beg you to please come forward to help us.”
Soon after Anne’s disappearance, Stephanie says Tom sold the caravan and moved onto another site.
As the days turned into weeks, and months to years the family’s anguish has deepened.
In 2012, there was hope when the police revealed they’d had a tip-off that Anne’s body was in the lake at Lakeside Caravan Park in Sutton-on-Sea, a 25 minute drive away from the site where she vanished.
But the search came to nothing and police concluded it was a hoax.
“They finally arrested and spoke to Tom in that same year,” says Stephanie. “He had moved to Devon and he told them he was now an ill, old man and that he couldn’t remember anything.
“Tom died on Christmas day in 2014.”
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‘We will not give up’
Stephanie said the pain of losing her nan is still raw, 20 years on.
“In this time we’ve not managed to grieve properly.
“Before you know it 20 years have gone by and there have never been any answers. It makes you numb. It drives you bonkers.
“Every day you think this might be the day when we find out something.
“You hear about bodies being found after years and we live in hope that that will happen and then we will have answers.
“I am now the one responsible for putting the appeals out on the anniversaries because it is too much for my mum and sisters. They can’t do it anymore, it really wears you down.
“But we will not give up trying to find out and will keep doing our best to bring her home.”
A spokesperson for Lincolnshire Police said: “We continue to review Anne’s case periodically.
“No new information has come to light to date.
“If anyone has any information we urge them to contact us even anonymously via CrimeStoppers quoting reference 21000346586.”
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