Tue. Dec 17th, 2024
Occasional Digest - a story for you

A GROUP of middle class students are terribly excited to ‘do’ some weed, it has been confirmed. 

Megan, not her real name, 19, said: “I’ve only seen it being done on edgy teen shows like Skins. Also, I have friend who has been to Bristol. 

“It’s all just unbearably exciting. We’ve been in talks on how to best take the weed. Jennifer suggested ‘space brownies’ but I decided it’s probably better to suck it straight out of the spliffer. 

“I just hope I don’t have a ‘whitey’ or go completely insane and have to spend the rest of my life in an institution.” 

Megan’s flatmate, Jennifer, not her real name, said: “Megan’s been off the rails this term. She’s been talking about setting up a ‘Breaking Bad’ in our halls. I don’t think she understands that that’s not what it’s called.” 

Harrison added: “I’ve sent one of the tougher members of the group to go and do the ‘pick-it-up’. 

“If they don’t make it back it will be very sad, but also really good material for one of my short stories.” 

By Kevin Gower

I just want to be a handsome billionaire