Thu. Nov 14th, 2024
Occasional Digest - a story for you

A WOMAN who claims to have a divisive personality unites everyone who meets her in hatred, it has emerged. 

Emma, not her real name, aged 24, believes her blunt speaking no-nonsense approach to life wins her friends and enemies alike, despite it never having won her any friends.

Colleague Susan, not her real name, said: “Emma claims to be like Marmite in that you’ll either love her or hate her, but people like Marmite. Nobody likes Emma.

“Furthermore if you don’t like Marmite it just sits on the shelf not bothering anyone, rather than getting in your face saying it ‘hates drama’ then losing its shit at Marie from accounts because of her ‘bitch attitude’.

“Really, Emma’s more like, say, the Ebola virus. Despised without exception everywhere.”

Emma said: “I take no prisoners, I don’t take crap from anyone, I’m real and I tell it like it is. If you don’t like me that’s your problem.

“I split people down the middle. Loads of them think this is great.”

By Kevin Gower

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