I can’t help myself.

I’m 27 and my girlfriend is 25. She works as a healthcare assistant in our local hospital.

We have a good sex life and the only time we aren’t intimate is when she is working. 

The first time I cheated on her was with a colleague who is 26. I thought she’d never give me a second look but a few of us went out to a darts match one night and after quite a few drinks I ended up at her flat.

She made it clear she was up for anything when she kissed me. We had drunken sex. It was awkward seeing her at work but we both pretended nothing had happened.

A week later I was at a friend’s birthday party alone and had a drunken flirt with my friend’s cousin. 

I could tell she liked me and soon enough we found an empty laundry cupboard in the hotel where the party was held. Although I was hammered, I managed to have sex with her.

I stumbled home afterwards and woke up the next day with my girlfriend beside me. I’ve never felt such guilt.

The next time she was on nights, I got drunk and had sex with a girl who works in our local pub. Nobody compares to my girlfriend and I know I’m going to lose her if I don’t clean up my act. What’s wrong with me?

DEIDRE SAYS: There’s no mystery. Repeat after me, “I am drinking too much.”

In a way you are lucky. If you were sober when you cheated you’d have much more work to do.

Then I’d be recommending you take a good look at your relationship and do a deeper dive on your values and ask if you are enjoying the thrill of cheating rather than fully committing? 

But you adore your girlfriend, were drunk and don’t want this pattern to continue. 

Anyone can do things they regret when judgement and inhibitions are affected by alcohol.

You’re potentially damaging your relationship and sexual health, but you could also make a worse mistake if you become too drunk to even know if somebody has consented to sex. 

To stay in control you must cut back. Find guidelines for sensible drinking at drinkaware.co.uk.