My wife will do anything to avoid intimacy and it is making me feel rejected and depressed. I’m 55 and she is 52. We have been married for 25 years.
We have always had a loving marriage. And until a few years ago, we had a good sex life too. But after she put on weight, she went off making love.
I told her I still fancied her and loved her but she said she just didn’t feel sexy any more. She kisses and cuddles me but then turns over and goes to sleep.
I have tried everything – talking to her, paying her compliments, buying her lingerie, taking her away for the weekend – but none of it helps.
We haven’t had sex at all for over a year. Lying next to her in bed every night feeling frustrated stops me from sleeping.
I would rather sleep alone.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your wife seems to have lost both her self-confidence and libido.
She may also be going through the menopause, which can decrease a woman’s sex drive.
Moving into the spare room won’t help, it will only widen the distance between you. Tell her you are at crisis point. Couple counselling would be a good idea, if she will agree. If not, talk to someone alone.
Contact tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1960). Read my Counselling and Menopause support packs.