A MAN who has casually arranged his third date on a Saturday night when the previous two were midweek genuinely believes he will never suspect. 

34-year-old David, not his real name, has set up the date when neither party has any work commitments the following morning and is confident Ian, not his real name, will not wonder why.

He said: “Our first date was on a Monday and I suggested just meeting for coffee, making me look super keen and not like someone who needs alcohol involved. Strategic.

“Once that one was quickly dispensed with, but still counts, our second was on a Thursday at a restaurant. We had a bottle of wine but, like a gentleman, I didn’t make any moves and I think he was impressed with that.

“And lo and behold, here we are at our third date and it’s on a Saturday. Who would have ever seen that one coming? All those excuses about needing to be home because it’s work in the morning are right out the window.

“I even checked if he had any plans on Sunday while feigning interest in his life and he’s just ‘going for a run’. I stopped myself saying ‘you’ll be well exercised already, love’. Don’t want to give the game away.

“The whole initial meeting to shag trajectory – or IM2ST, if you will – has been exquisitely timed. I hope she appreciates that, and that I’ll never call him again.”

Ian said: “A Saturday? For the third date in a three-date series? Why, how unexpected!”