JUST one month ago you had already downed several glasses of Prosecco by this time, it has been confirmed.   

Exactly 31 days, or ‘sleeps’, have passed since you awoke on December 25th, opened wrapped parcels and spent the day indulging yourself with your loved ones, unreal as that now seems. 

Hairdresser Ivan, not his real name, from Bracknell: “It feels more like six months, since we began the long, grey trudge through the dark, cold January wasteland. 

“I was a different person then, with my paper crown and snowman jumper. I smiled, sometimes. I was still capable of kindness. I ate more than 800 calories a day. 

“It can’t have been real. I can’t have been alternating pigs-in-blankets and Lindor at noon while watching Top of the Pops. It isn’t even on anymore.” 

David, not his real name, also from Bracknell said: “It happened. I clearly remember the warmth and bonhomie for my fellow man I felt after three single malts at six o’clock. 

“Odd, because now they can all piss off.”