A CHILD has begun telling jokes with zero understanding of what a joke actually is, her weary parents have noted. 

Four-year-old Lottie, not her real name, has taken to performing short stand-up sets around her home which do not make a great deal of sense. 

Dad Martin, not his real name, said: “It’s what you might call an uneven performance. She’s absorbed the confidence and cadence of a stand-up comedian, but unfortunately doesn’t yet understand the concept of a punchline. 

“She’s a lot like Russell Brand in that respect, but that’s not something we’d want to encourage.” 

Lottie’s mum Carolyn said: “A typical joke of Lottie’s is ‘What kind of water do chickens drink?’, followed by a pause and ‘Wet water!’. Sadly she has the comedic ability of Liz Truss. 

“The other day she asked the bus driver ‘Why did the bear eat lunch? Because he fell over!’ and everyone knew she was my strange child. Okay, she’s better than Jimmy Tarbuck, but you wouldn’t want him following you around telling jokes either.” 

Lottie said: “What do you call a man with a tree on his head? Edward Tree!” She then laughed hysterically for 15 minutes.