A MAN replaces the photo of his wife and kids on his phone with a picture of something macho every time he goes out with the lads. 

When preparing to go to the pub a critical part of Ercan, not his real name, routine is to swap the image of his loving family for one that his mates will not see and call him a ‘pussy’. 

He said: “The photo I usually have is of me, Mum and the children at Disneyland doing the Hot Dog Dance. Which I love, but the boys would laugh and I do look a bit of a twat in the Mickey Mouse ears, to be fair. 

“So I change it before I leave the house. Last week I had a monster truck with flames down the side, the week before the Arsenal logo. Tonight I’m thinking Tyson Fury. Is that macho or is a picture of a muscly bloke with his top off a bit gay? 

“Honestly, it’s a minefield. Still, better to be called a ‘massive bender’ than have my friends thinking I’m devoted to my lovely family.” 

Mate Big Edwin, not his real name, said: “The truth is we’re pleased he’s so happy. But the only way we know how to express that is to absolutely rip the piss until he’s almost crying.”