Mon. Nov 18th, 2024
Occasional Digest - a story for you

A WOMAN believes her daily struggle means she is allowed occasional naughty indulgences approximately from dawn until dusk.  

Donna, not her real name, begins her day with a cinammon swirl, arrives at work with a Lucozade followed with a brunch smoothie, treats herself at lunch and deserves a reward every single evening of her life. 

She said: “Whether it’s a new top at lunchtime, a salted caramel frappachino mid-afternoon or Maom Pinballs for the train home, I know I shouldn’t but where’s the harm? 

“This morning I felt frazzled after killing a cheeky bottle of Pinot last night, so I gave myself a break and caught up on Love Island: Unseen Bits. After all I worked pretty hard on Friday, in the morning, I think. 

“Then I couldn’t face my packed lunch so I went for burritos, and a fancy cake, and after work I called in at Sainsbury’s Local and got some treats because I can already tell it’s going to be one of those weeks. 

“Couldn’t be arsed cooking after all that so I got a takeaway, popped Duran Duran on, watched an old Reese Witherspoon romcom and hopped in the tub with an £8 Lush bath bomb and candles. And chocolates. And gin.” 

She added: “Honestly, I’m so busy I can’t find time for self-pleasure.” 

By Kevin Gower

I just want to be a handsome billionaire