AS CAROLYN Shepherd chopped vegetables in her kitchen, she heard the muffled sound of office chatter in the background.
Quietly, she tipped carrots into a pan before it started again and then, a voice she knew only too well boomed out of her Alexa speaker.
7
7
7
“What are you doing? Are you there on your own? Have you got a man in there?”
Choking back her tears, she replied that she was completely alone and preparing dinner.
“Well, you’d better be,” came the reply.
For two long years, Carolyn Shepherd was locked in her own home daily as her husband, Wayne Wellings, used the family Alexa to stalk her.
Wellings also forced Carolyn to video her hen night hotel, proving she wasn’t having an affair.
And he even attacked her in a jealous outburst on their wedding night, after she danced with a gay pal.
In another violent outburst, he squashed her face after she’d had cosmetic filler to make her lips burst.
He would also spit on her make-up and smash her beauty products, accusing her of trying to look good for other men.
Last September Wellings, now 39, was jailed at Liverpool Crown Court for five years after he was convicted of assaults and coercive control.
Mum of two Carolyn, 38, from The Wirral, says: “I used to stay quiet, even when he was attacking me, because I felt that was best.
“Now I realise that finding my voice is the best thing I’ve ever done.
“I’m back at work, raising my children, and really enjoying my life.”
Carolyn, who works in the car industry, met Wellings 11 years ago online and within six months they had moved in together.
She says: “He was very intense, from the start, and wanted us to be together all the time.
“But I was flattered, I thought he really loved me. I was ready to settle down and he seemed like the perfect man.
“The first night we moved into our new home, Wayne attacked me because he was drunk. He rubbed my face in the dog’s bowl and told me I was fat and I was a dog.
“I felt so ashamed, I couldn’t bear to tell anyone.
“I’d borrowed money from my family to move into the house. And that set the pattern for the next eight years – I just kept quiet no matter what he did.
7
7
7
“Wayne was abusive almost every day. He’d spit on me and rub his hand in my face to mess up my make up. He pulled out my hair extensions. He said I was a slut.
“I had lip filler sometimes and he’d squash my lips until they burst which was agony.
“He’d raise his hand and then laugh when I flinched, thinking he was going to hit me.”
The couple married in July 2016, with Carolyn hoping their wedding might be a new start.
She says: “I had a quiet hen do, a night away in Essex with two friends, but Wayne harassed me all night and made me video the hotel room to make sure there were no men in there.
“On our wedding day he got drunk and vanished, and I had to do our last dance with a gay pal.
“Wayne went ballistic and attacked me on our wedding night, squeezing me round my throat.
“He told me I deserved it and by now, I believed it. I thought I was completely worthless.”
Carolyn’s hopes of things improving once they were married were in vain.
“He locked me in the house when he went to work, and if we had a delivery, I had to open the window,” she says.
He monitored me through the Alexa which was downstairs
Carolyn Shepherd
“I couldn’t go out because I had no keys. I was trapped.
“He monitored me through the Alexa which was downstairs. He’d dial in and listen silently, even though I could hear the noise from his workplace in the background.”
However, when Carolyn confronted her abuser he gaslit her.
“When I asked him about it, he’d say I was imagining it, trying to make me think I was going mad,” she says.
“It was his way of checking up on me every day and he did it for nearly two years.
“Sometimes, he’d dial in and shout down the Alexa, to make sure I was at home, and I was alone.
“If I ever didn’t pick up his call or reply to a text message, he immediately dialled straight into the Alexa because he suspected I was being unfaithful, which was never the case.
“I felt like I couldn’t breathe in my own house, because there was always that feeling that he was tracking me, dialling in and following every move I made.”
Carolyn’s family became increasingly worried for her safety.
How you can get help
Women’s Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – [email protected].
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
She says: “By now, my mum was calling me every day to make sure I was OK. She begged me to get help.
“I left him a few times, but he’d threaten to kill me, or my mum, and so I always went back. I was trapped.”
The couple have two sons, and on December 27 2020, when their second son was just weeks old, Wayne launched his final attack.
She says: “I took a work message from a male colleague and Wayne accused me of flirting. He went ballistic, pulling a curtain pole down and beating me.
“My mum turned up and something clicked. I realised enough was enough.”
I only hope my story can be a lesson to someone else. Please speak out and get help. Silence is not the answer
Carolyn Shepherd
Carolyn moved in with her mum, Christine, but it was another year before she felt strong enough to speak to the police.
In September Wellings was found guilty at Liverpool Crown Court on two counts of ABH and controlling/coercive behaviour. In November, he was jailed for five years.
Carolyn says: “I am so relieved he’s behind bars. I now have chance to look to the future. I’m back at work, I’m enjoying raising my sons, and life is better than it’s ever been.
“For eight long and lonely years, I stayed quiet, because I felt that was best. Now I realise that finding my voice is the best thing I’ve ever done.
“I only hope my story can be a lesson to someone else. Please speak out and get help. Silence is not the answer.”
7