Why do dogs make us feel ‘whole’?

In short, because dogs offer us a unique unconditional love and loyalty that can be hard to find elsewhere!

Many straight people will tell you that their kids give them a sense of purpose and fulfilment beyond what they could dream to get through their career or material things. For me, dogs offer a similar value, and although starting a family is possible for LGBTQIA+ people, it’s also not always that straight forward. Having a dog, however, can be.

Being a closet gay kid at a London all boys school in the 90’s and early 2000’s was lonely. The gay dating scene in London is lonely also. You meet someone, and unless you’re one of the lucky few, you’ll likely spend many years trying to find your forever person, without success. That’s not to say you can’t be happy, I’ve had some of the best years of my life when I’m single or in short term relationships but there’s something we’re missing until we bring a dog into our lives!

Dogs come with huge responsibility of course; the walks, feeding, not being left alone for too long, vet visits etc. but I think this sacrifice is what makes the experience of having a dog all the more fulfilling. We give them our time, energy, love and resources and in return, we literally get the most loyal, loving companion we could dream of, a true best pal! Like many things in life, the work we put in makes us feel all the more happy when it pays off and the fruits of our labour are realised.

To spell it out further, if you have a dog they are always there. Your good days, your not so good days and everything in between. Whatever life throws at you, they will be by your side, looking supportively into your eyes, reassuring you every step of the way. For me, this consistent unconditional love is unmatched to any other relationship I have experienced and is why I believe having a dog makes your life whole.

I do recognise that family and friends can be an amazing and wholesome part of our lives too but its different, they have their own lives to worry about – for your dog, you are their world, and in time they become your world too. A truly amazing bond that releases serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine (happy hormones) in our brains, on repeat!

What impact did your own dog have on you?

My black Labrador Bondie lived to 17 and truly was my best mate.

I’m not going to lie, I did find owning a dog somewhat challenging with all the rest of life’s demands like training at vet school, working and then later my MBA but my Gd was he worth it.

Bondie was the sweetest dog, playful yet so in tune with the emotions of the humans around him. He just seemed to understand the mood in the room, and knew how best to console, uplift and celebrate the moments of life.

When he was younger he was a bit of a handful on walks. He would literally drag whoever was walking him to any whiff of food (kids would often leave chicken wings chucked on the floor in our local park). Although that was funny at first, it actually became a bit of a hazard, not just for him (bones can really tear up their intestines) but also whoever was walking him. He was a strong boy and could literally topple someone over as they tried to hold on to his lead.

As he matured and grew out of these behaviours, I felt how I imagine a parent might feel when their naughty teenager grows up and stops acting out. A profound sense of fulfilment and pride, thats my dog, look how well behaved and perfect he is, a truly amazing feeling.

What about cats?

Cats too! This wholesome feeling pets bring us is definitely not limited to dogs. I mention dogs because that’s the experience I have had, but I know from friends and colleagues that other animals can give us a similar feeling, including cats!

The key thing is the bidirectional relationship. We give the pet (whatever animal they are) our energy, time and love and in return they give us affection, companionship and loyalty. These may be expressed in different ways by other species like cats, but its this 2-way flow that counts

This is also why I don’t think certain ‘more independent’ pets like hamsters and goldfish necessarily can bring the same fulfilment, though of course they offer their own positive value for many too.