LOUNGING in her beautiful home on a leafy street, Hannah Turner has the luxury lifestyle most women could only dream of.
There’s a Porsche on the drive, a gardener and cleaner hard at work, and housewife Hannah, 51, spends her days shopping and exercising her polo ponies.
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When the mum-of-one married investment banker Hugo, 71, back in 2001, she was able to give up her job as a publisher to raise their daughter and has been a lady of leisure ever since.
Sounds ideal – but look a little closer and life behind closed doors isn’t quite as ‘picture perfect’ as it first appears.
Hannah and her husband haven’t had sex for years – in fact, she even admits the 20-year age gap between them now makes her skin crawl, as her greying, sagging husband has become ‘doddery’.
But that’s not to say her sex life has dried up.
In fact, she’s still getting plenty of action, having embarked on a secret affair with a younger man – just like all of her girlfriends do.
Shocked? Welcome to Cheltenham, Gloucestershire – dubbed the ‘affair capital’ of the UK.
The unassuming town was named the number one spot for adultery in a recent poll by extra-marital website Illicit Encounters – with seven per cent of the population confessing to having been unfaithful.
Extreme wealth, beautiful properties and a location on the commuter belt – as well as being the home of one of the UK’s biggest networks of spies – mean it’s easy to see how it became a hotbed of secrets and lies…
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The ‘picture perfect’ marriage
In Hannah’s case, she admits she was blown away by husband Hugo’s wealth and movie-star good looks when she met him, when he was 50.
They met at a mutual friend’s wedding and within weeks, were an item.
“He was very alluring,” she recalls. “He owned a gorgeous, whopping-big Georgian town house, a collection of high-end cars, and a number of polo ponies.
“He was charming, but if I’m honest, I think I was probably taken in more by the lifestyle he could offer me.”
After the pair married two years into their relationship, they had a daughter together, and Hannah gave up work.
But as her husband got older, the attraction started to fade.
“Now, when I look at him, he’s greying, sagging, a little bit doddery – and I just think, ‘I don’t fancy you’.
“We don’t have sex any more. I’m not sure what I would do if he tried to be intimate with me now – I’d be horrified.
“I do feel guilty, because he’s provided me with the perfect life, but money isn’t everything.
“He doesn’t show me any affection – I feel completely ignored and alone. I feel more like a carer.”
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‘Amazing sex’
Worried that her sex life was over in her 50s, Hannah decided to set out to have an affair a year ago.
“I didn’t just want a fumble in a hotel with a stranger – I wanted a proper emotional connection, a real relationship with someone,” she explains.
“Luckily, I met a man who is three years younger than me, who is also in a loveless marriage.
“He has young children, so doesn’t want to leave his wife, but we had an instant connection.
Because my husband is retired, he’s at home all the time, so I do need to be careful what I tell him about where I’m going.
Hannah
“We started off going for coffee dates out of town, where nobody would see us. Then a few weeks later we booked into a hotel during the day and had the most amazing, connected sex of my life.
“Because my husband is retired, he’s at home all the time, so I do need to be careful what I tell him about where I’m going.
“Usually, I’ll just tell him I’m going shopping, and I’m always careful to make sure I factor in some time to grab something on the way home in a bag, even if it’s just picking up dinner. He doesn’t seem to care.
“I admit I do enjoy the thrill of thinking that we might get caught out though, even though I know we’re very careful about where we go and not arriving or leaving together.”
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‘It is like Rivals’
Hannah says she’s not alone – all of her girlfriends are in the same boat.
“We do joke it is a bit like Rivals,” Hannah says. “Our husbands are all a bit older, they are mostly bankers and work in the city, and have provided us with wonderful lifestyles.
“But like me, they mostly feel ignored and aren’t attracted to their husbands any more now they are older.
“We always tell them we are going out with each other, and I’d always cover for them if anyone ever asked if they were with me.”
Marriage counsellor Natasha Silverman says she’s seen a huge leap in the number of couples she sees struggling with infidelity issues since relocating to Cheltenham from London four years ago.
She says: “Infidelity definitely comes up significantly more as an issue for couples to work through in Cheltenham than it does anywhere else I have worked.
“There could be a number of reasons – one of the biggest issues I see is that it’s simply too expensive here for people to separate.
“The houses are pricey, and rather than try to divorce, often one partner will just have an affair on the side, rather than risk losing their house too.
“Cheltenham is also a town on the London commuter belt – if one partner is working away in London all week, it’s quite easy for them to leave their relationships behind them and conduct an affair during the week.
“And sometimes, couples even move out to the countryside because they’re struggling anyway with their marriage, thinking it will help them work through difficulties and connect them more through the lifestyle – but that’s rarely the case.”
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‘Dual-mating’
Natasha adds Cheltenham is also a hotspot for so-called ‘dual-mating’ – a theory that women pursue both short-term and long-term relationships simultaneously.
She adds: “I have spoken to a lot of women who have a husband who provides for them, they have reproduced with and provides a safe and secure lifestyle.
“Unfortunately, safety and security are often the antidote to sexual desire, so they then also look for a ‘short term’ partner – who is physically attractive and can fulfil their sexual needs.
“It’s quite a new theory, but definitely something I see a lot in practice.”
When we visited, most locals weren’t surprised to hear their hometown had been named affair capital of the country.
Jemima, 25, told us: “Loads of people have affairs round here, I’m always hearing about it.
“It’s all beautiful houses and roses around the windows, but there’s all kind of things going on behind closed doors.
“The wealthy people of Cheltenham live a completely different life to the rest of us.
“In a previous job, the boss was having an affair with the secretary – it was a huge open secret, they’d openly flirt in the office and disappear together at lunchtime, but nobody said anything when his wife came into the office.”
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Dual dating damages relationships
By Sally Land, The Sun’s Agony Aunt
Dual mating – it sounds so convenient – one long-term relationship for security and another short term coupling for sex. And I’m sure there are many women and men who feel they have found the ideal set up for a comfortable life, combined with the excitement of an illicit and exciting affair.
That is of course, until it’s not. This idealistic approach to relationships ignores the damage being done to the long-term relationship. If the marriage is an unfilled one then it’s far better to work on that, or face the reality that both parties might be happier apart.
An unhappy union creates a miserable home environment for everyone and any children will suffer as a result of the tension in their family environment. Significantly, recent surveys have found that roughly a significant two thirds of adulterers are discovered by their partners.
Finding out a partner has been unfaithful puts the couple on an antagonistic pathway, tilting them towards disputes over money, assets and access to children. The children who are so often caught in this destructive crossfire often suffer with long-term issues such as low self worth, anger and mental health problems.
I’d urge anyone planning to skip off to their next illicit encounter to think hard about the reality of their actions.If you are worried about anything you can email my team of counsellors for free and personal advice on [email protected]
‘Living a double life’
Cheltenham – where the average house price was £348,000 in October 2024 – is perfectly situated in many respects.
It’s close to areas of outstanding natural beauty, as well as boasting excellent transport links to the city too.
And fitness instructor Sophie, 40, reckons the town’s position as home of the Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ), one of the UK’s three bases for the secret intelligence service, means there’s even more chance for people to be living a double life.
She said: “Everyone knows there are loads of spies living in Cheltenham, but of course nobody’s allowed to say that they’re a spy.
“There are probably loads of people living a double life anyway, it would be easy for them to just carry on that deception into their private lives.
“They’d be good at it too.”
THE SIGNS THAT HE’S CHEATING
PSYCHOLOGIST Emma Kenny reveals behaviour to look out for if you suspect your other half is doing the dirty on you. . .
Have they begun hitting the gym?
HAS your partner started acting differently out of the blue? Maybe they’re more attentive than usual or, conversely, distant. These sudden shifts can be a red flag. If your once laid-back lover now hits the gym religiously or spruces up their appearance more than ever, best pay attention.
Do they guard their phone?
IN this digital age, our phones are like extensions of ourselves. If your partner suddenly becomes overly protective of their phone, hiding screens, changing passwords or taking calls in private, this could indicate they’re hiding something. Trust your gut – if it feels off, it probably is.
Are they working late?
REGULAR late nights at the office or frequent trips out of town can be legitimate. However, if these absences come with vague explanations or an air of secrecy, then it might be cause for concern. A pattern of absences that are unaccounted for can often be a clue that something is amiss.
Has your sex life changed?
IF so, this can be telling. If your partner is suddenly less interested in physical intimacy or, conversely, overly experimental, these could be signs of infidelity. A shift in the frequency or quality of your intimate moments often reflects underlying issues in the relationship.
Are they distant?
EMOTIONAL disconnection is another big indicator. If your once-loving partner is now emotionally unavailable, avoiding deep conversations or showing less affection, they might be investing their emotional energy elsewhere. Pay attention to how they respond to your needs and feelings.
‘Shocked… but not surprised’
Di, 70, agrees.
“Back in the 90s there were always a lot of Americans living in Cheltenham because of GCHQ.
“From what I heard from friends, they were very charming and working with them was a bit of a riot.
There were parties every weekend – and I’m sure it’s no different now.”
Dog-walker Tracey says the town provides the perfect opportunity for those having an affair to play away.
“There are so many people coming and going,” she says. “It probably is quite easy for people to have an affair if they want to.
“A lot of people live in Cheltenham but work away, and when the races are on, there are loads of people coming into the town, and all sorts of strip clubs pop up.
“I’m pretty shocked that so many people seem to be having affairs in Cheltenham, it’s a lovely town – shocked but not necessarily surprised.”
* Some names have been changed.
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