What movie will win the Oscar for best picture? The race, for the moment, is more of a free-for-all than it has been in years. For the 10 movies nominated, being invited to the party was just the first step. Now the focus is on winning. Talking points need to be refreshed and recalibrated. Existential crises about the meaning of it all must be kicked to the curb. The Oscars’ biggest prize is there for the taking!
What messages might these 10 movies be sending as we head into the final stretch? Let’s open the envelopes and take a look.
‘ANORA’
Mark Eydelshteyn and Mikey Madison in “Anora.”
(Neon)
Over 230 Top 10 lists! We know what you’re thinking. There are 230 film critics still holding jobs? Yes, even if we had to stretch the definition to include members of the Critics Choice Assn. But the point is, people who love movies love this movie! Why wouldn’t they? It’s like three classic films in one — screwball comedy, home-invasion thriller and a rueful drama of regret. Plus, there’s romance! And sex! And a soulful Russian dude. And Mikey Madison giving the best lead performance of the year. All seamlessly woven together by a true auteur, Sean Baker. It’s a f— miracle. (Excuse the language. But we’re all grown-ups, aren’t we?)
‘THE BRUTALIST’
Adrien Brody in “The Brutalist.”
(A24)
Creating art is hard. It’s the destination, not the journey because, again, creating art is a pitiless process that will grind you down. That finance guy who wonders why your movie has to be 3 ½ hours long? Everything that is ugly, cruel and stupid — but mostly ugly — is his fault. Him and all the other dilettantes who don’t know the wonders of VistaVision. Rivers of frivolities may flow (ahem, “Emilia Pérez”), but this movie is designed to endure the cultural erosion inflicted by such trivialities. We hope you have found this conversation persuasive and intellectually stimulating.
‘A COMPLETE UNKNOWN’
Monica Barbaro and Timothée Chalamet “A Complete Unknown.”
(Searchlight Pictures)
[Sung to the tune of “Like a Rolling Stone”]
Once upon a time, you voted so fine
Gave Oscars to guys like Spielberg in his prime, didn’t you?
Now people vote “Everything Everywhere All at Once”
You thought they were kidding you
You used to brag about
All the classic movies critics would tout
Now you don’t talk so loud
Now you don’t seem so proud
About having to stream your next film
How does it feel? How does it feel?
To be on your own
Voting for ‘A Complete Unknown’
‘CONCLAVE’
Ralph Fiennes stars in “Conclave.”
(Uncredited / Associated Press)
You like us. You really, really like us. OK, maybe that’s overstating things a bit. You like us well enough. More importantly, you don’t hate us. Maybe we’re not your favorite film. But how about putting us No. 2 on your preferential ballot? As you know from watching our entertaining, enjoyable movie, you never know how an election might go.
‘DUNE: PART TWO’
Timothée Chalamet and Austin Butler star in “Dune: Part Two.”
(Niko Tavernise/Warner Bros. Pictures)
We’re trying to be magnanimous here and express our appreciation for this best picture nomination and the four others you gave us. Thank you! But seriously … what the hell? We won six Oscars for the first movie, and this one’s even better. Did you forget that it came out this year? Are your brains that riddled with age and decay? Sorry. That was a little out of line. Anyway, again, thank you. We’re not expecting much … now. But when the third movie comes out next year (and it will be arriving in December, so you won’t have that “It came out too early” excuse), you better make it up to us. Snub Denis Villeneuve again and we’re spiking your popcorn with psychedelic dust.
‘EMILIA PÉREZ’
Zoe Saldaña stars in “Emilia Pérez.”
(Shanna Besson/PAGE 114 – WHY NOT)
You don’t go on Reddit, do you? Good. What about Letterboxd? No? Glad to hear. In fact, you might just want to stay off the internet until after the Oscars. There’s a lot of misinformation out there. Just dwell on the fact that “Emilia Pérez” received 13 Oscar nominations, more than any other movie, and was recognized by writers, directors, actors, musicians … we could go on, but you get the picture. People who know about the craft of cinema have consistently rewarded this movie’s brilliance and audacity. Remember that. Oh, and don’t go on TikTok, either. That place is a cesspool too.
‘I’M STILL HERE’
Fernanda Torres stars in “I’m Still Here.”
(Adrian Teijido/Sony Pictures Classics)
Look, we’re as surprised as anyone that we’re here. Thanks, again! We know it’s a bit of stretch to think we’ll win best picture, but please remember that we also earned nominations for lead actress (Golden Globe winner Fernanda Torres!) and international feature, where we’re up against that other movie that the internet (and Mexico) hates. We’re viable options in those categories — principled alternatives, if you will.
‘NICKEL BOYS’
Brandon Wilson stars in “Nickel Boys.”
(Orion Pictures)
The best movie of the year? Don’t take our word for it. That august body of cineastes, the National Society of Film Critics, said so, and, frankly, it wasn’t even close. But back to the Oscars. It’s an honor to be nominated and all, but we’re thinking there’s room to grow, as we suspect some of you haven’t quite gotten around to seeing the movie yet. Maybe you’ve read the book and consider it a masterpiece. The movie is too, in a wholly original way.
‘THE SUBSTANCE’
Demi Moore stars in “The Substance.”
(Universal Studios)
Was that you leaving the theater with about 20 minutes to go in the film? No judgment. Even we realize that ending was a bit much, though purely by design. You see, it’s hard out there for women of a certain age. But you know that. Or you know somebody who knows that. Our lead, Demi Moore, definitely understands. Did you hear her speech at the Golden Globes after she won? What a night! Wouldn’t it be nice to keep the celebration going?
‘WICKED’
Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande star in “Wicked.”
(Universal Pictures)
Why not vote for the musical that you saw in a movie theater (perhaps more than once), the one that has songs that are, you know, actually good?