OFFICE workers heading out to get pissed after finishing for Christmas are distraught that a tedious prick of a colleague has decided to join them.

Staff delighted to be finishing at lunchtime have been left crushed after weapons-grade twat from accounts Julian Cook announced he would ‘tag along for the ride, guys’.

HR assistant Nikki, not her real name, said: “Seriously? F**k’s sake. It’s bad enough having to put up with Owen, not his real name, getting on everyone’s tits five days a week, but no, he has to ruin our Christmas piss-up as well.

“He only ever has one pint of bitter, which he pays for himself and never buys a round, so it’s not like he loves getting pissed. He’d better not start droning on about the Sealed Knot and cycling like he does in the office. 

“I’ve got a feeling he’s a born again Christian, not his real name, too because he keeps saying things like ‘Have you considered letting Jesus into your heart, Nikki?’ when you’re trying to eat a tuna sandwich.”

She said: “I don’t usually go to pubs. I find them too noisy and for some reason I don’t seem to make friends easily. But hey, ‘When in Rome’, as they say. 

“I’ll get us all singing Christmas songs, which will make them realise there’s more to life than just abusing your body getting drunk.

“Plus I’ll be able to make sure they appreciate the true meaning of Christmas, which is of course the birth of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. They can join me in a prayer. That will be fun.”