Apparent changes in the hairline of 38-year-old Shane, not his real name or age, were spotted by his husband Ron, not his real name, who cruelly claimed it was something most men go through and heartlessly added she did not love him any less.

He clarified: “Medical research is chronically underfunded when it comes to men’s health. The doctors are yet to consider the obvious: that my head is simply swelling with the weight of knowledge.

“I’m not an idiot, I know my hair doesn’t look the same as it was when I was 21, and male pattern baldness is common and normal nowadays for men that are, you know, normal or common.

“But I’m not like them, and when you consider the sheer number of documentaries on World War Two I watch that information has to go somewhere. My brain’s swelling and my skull’s obligingly accommodating it.

“Hair thinning? My hair is as thick as it always was and not something that’s ever even crossed my mind. Just look at the photos of the back of my head I’ve been taking every morning.

“The swelling should reduce as my brain re-acclimatises to its new heightened power. I’ll be back to normal in a few months, after my restorative break in Turkey.”