A FAT labrador claims his excessive size is just puppy fat despite being nine years old and finishing every meal with a trifle.
Taunton-based dog Wayne, not his real name, said of his hulking eight stone frame: “It’s just some adorable chub from adolescence.
“Admittedly I do go hard on the sweet treats, but then my main diet is room temperature meat that smells like Boris Johnson after a workout.
“I could easily run off ‘the weight’ in a park chasing a pigeon, but for what? You don’t need a hot body to hump a throw cushion.
“Anyway it’s good to be part of something, even if that something is an obesity epidemic.”
He added: “If I do get fatter, they’ll have no choice but to drag me along on a skateboard and then the internet will be mine.”