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Company’s culture is alcoholism and being called John

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A CONSULTANCY firm is proud of its distinctive workplace culture of drinking too much while employing multiple staff members with the same name. 

Consultancy firm Smith & Smith states on its website that ‘shared values and goals’ and emphasis on ‘diversity and inclusion’ are key tenets of their ‘business philosophy’, without going into any unnecessary detail.

Hannah, not her real name, a junior vice-partner, said: “Our joint ethos is behind everything we do, especially our regular attendance of Tequila Thursdays at El Capo from 5pm.

“The Johns love it. Not all of them obviously, some prefer wine, but John Murphy and John Aldwick are at the bar before I am and Jon Summers isn’t far behind. It’s where we forge our bond as a team.

“It’s a marvellous place to work, really chilled and with a real team spirit. Like the other week when we realised the presentation deadline was earlier than we’d thought and we all pulled an all-nighter, absolutely hammered, to get it done.”

Boss John Bigshot, not his real name, said: “I like to drink and I trust a man with a good, honest name. Don’t mind if they’re black, Jewish or Muslim as long as they get the work done and they’re relaxed about John cracking a beer in meetings.

“I have an open door policy and an open bottle of The Famous Grouse policy. Could a woman be called John? Yes.”

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