Sun. Dec 22nd, 2024
Occasional Digest - a story for you

DEAR DEIDRE: I MUST be married to the cruellest man in Britain.

Since we got hitched he’s turned into someone I don’t recognise – someone so mean he won’t even pay for a box of my favourite Earl Grey tea.

I’m 54 and he’s 53. We’ve been married for three years. When we met, he was kind, loving, generous and always buying me expensive gifts. He was also fun to be with.

But it seems he didn’t take the “for worse” part of his vows seriously. My health has declined, meaning I can’t work or contribute much, and he’s made me feel like I’m a burden.

Sex is uncomfortable for me, so I avoid it. That makes him angry and mean. He constantly reminds me that I don’t contribute enough to the bills but I give as much as I can, out of my benefits.

When we go supermarket shopping, he refuses to let me buy the food I like, even though he has plenty of cash.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

I know that having a wife who has disabilities and gets tired isn’t the future he planned, but I thought he loved me.

Instead, he puts me down all the time, telling me I’m pathetic, stupid, and an ugly cripple.

He never hits me but he humiliates me. I can’t take much more but I don’t have the resources to leave.

READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

Dear Deidre: Understanding why your man’s gone off sex

DEIDRE SAYS: Not all abuse is physical. Your husband is emotionally, financially and mentally abusive.

He’s making your life miserable and he is destroying your self-esteem. You deserve so much better.

My support pack, Abusive Partner, explains more and contains details of organisations which can help you leave, if that’s what you decide to do.

You can also contact Surviving Economic Abuse (survivingeconomicabuse.org) for their advice.

Ask friends or family for support too, so that they know what’s going on and can be there for you.

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