A GROUND-BREAKING gay man is breaking the mould of well-dressed, hilarious and fascinating gay guys by being absolutely none of those things.
Though Martin, not his real name, is definitely homosexual he often finds acquaintances assume he is straight based on his tendency to wear dark-wash bootcut jeans with a Coldplay T-shirt while loudly discussing unjustifiable rises in council tax.
He said: “When people hear I’m gay, they expect waspish wit, flawless outfits and sparkling discourse to rival Gok Wan or Graham Norton. But I’m not like that at all.
“When I came out, mum was thrilled to have a gay son she could watch Drag Race and gossip about Katy Perry’s pathetic attempt at a comeback with. However, I’m not really interested in pop culture or fashion. I like military history.
“In fact, I still get her to buy my clothes for me. And I struggle to tell Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande apart.
“I don’t really go to gay bars, because they’re silly and always playing overly loud disco. If I want to meet men there’s Grinder. I prefer to stay in with my pet lizard. He enjoys eating crickets, whereas I prefer a nice bottle of Carlsberg.”
Long-time friend Hannah, not her real name, said: “Sometimes I genuinely forget that he likes cocks. I mean, last year he skipped my Eurovision party to watch a documentary about eels.”