A MAN who successfully explained something to his wife she already knew has been congratulated in a manner befitting his achievement. 

Jo, not her real name, who can watch the weather herself, was enlightened on how high-pressure storm systems work by husband Jeremy, not his real name, and responded by demonstrating how he might like it.

She cooed: “Who’s the best at being patronising? You are. Yes, you are, my little snuggle muffin. What a condescending boy!

“Like when I was driving and you said ‘Did you see that car?’ even though I did because it’s big, yellow and f**king car-shaped, and weren’t you were just the cutest little wanker on the Sydney harbour bridge? Eh?

“And I’m so happy when my koala bear starts explaining what’s going on in the news, because the outside world is so big and scawy for a wittle wady like me, and I certainly hadn’t read it on my phoney-woney before you got up, oh no.

“What a special, supercilious boy you are, regurgitating his Telegraph columns! My naughty nugget just loves to show off his reading skills!”

“Do you see what I’m doing? Of course you don’t, you sweet little squirrel-brain. Trot off to work now, I bet there are women there who need your wisdom! Don’t they? Don’t they?”