Thu. Nov 14th, 2024
Occasional Digest - a story for you

A WOMAN who liberally peppers her work emails with exclamation marks is just as powerfully irritating in real life, colleagues. 

Administration manager Hannah, not her real name, believes that updating to the latest version of Excel deserves no less than three consecutive exclamation marks in the subject line of an email, and is also just like that in person. 

Colleague Helan, not her real name, said: “Initially I gave her the benefit of the doubt, as she joined us just before lockdown and I’m trying not to immediately assume everyone’s a total moron before I meet them. 

“However, since coming back into the office I can confirm she’s the type of person who has a ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ coaster to put her Hello Kitty mug on and claps her hands with excitement several times if someone’s going to Starbucks. 

“How can someone who writes ‘Christmas Do Anyone!!?!!’ expect any respect? 

“She deserves exactly as much contempt in real life as she does electronically. The exclamation marks were the only proof anyone needed. I should never have doubted myself.” 

Later that day Han sent an email to HR titled ‘Workplace bullying issue!’ beginning ‘Hi guys!! This girl Helen is really picking on me!!!’ which was rightfully ignored. 

By Kevin Gower

I just want to be a handsome billionaire