FROM role play, donning a sexy outfit to talking dirty – we all know foreplay is extremely important when it comes to getting in the mood for sex.
But while there are plenty of things we can do to get in the right mood with our partner, there are also plenty of ways we can, unknowingly, really kill the passion too.
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Relationship expert Annabelle Knight says: “Anyone who’s had a long-term relationship will tell you that the spark sometimes fades.
“Keeping passion alive and enjoying a fulfilling intimate life together is a key part of a happy and healthy relationship.
“Now, that doesn’t mean that you should be doing it 24/7, however, it does mean that both of you should feel satisfied and contented with the amount and quality of sex that you’re having.
“But, good sex starts outside of the bedroom, so here are my top tips for keeping that spark alive before you slide between the sheets.”
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Don’t let technology ruin the moment
Scrolling through TikTok or Instagram or Whatsapping your friend is the ultimate passion killer.
Annabelle says: “Leave phones outside of the bedroom.
“The one sure-fire thing to spoil the moment is to be reminded that the outside world exists.
“Your boss calling, a social media notification pinging, or a friend texting for a catch-up – all of these things pull you out of the moment.”
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Manage your expectations
It’s vital not to put too much pressure on yourself – or your partner.
Annabelle says: “Managing your expectations goes a long way to ensuring sexual satisfaction.
“Don’t get me wrong, desires, fantasies and experimentation are all key parts to a fulfilling sex life.
“However, putting too much pressure on your time together to be ‘perfect’ can ruin things for you.”
Avoid stress
Lots of couples use their time before bed to vent about their day – but this obviously isn’t exactly effective foreplay.
Annabelle says: “This may mean moaning about next door, complaining about work or tackling an issue that you feel is too important to leave.
“By doing this you’re upping the tension levels.
“Cortisol is a hormone we produce when we’re feeling stressed and to put it bluntly, it’s pretty toxic when it comes sex.
“Stressed people are less likely to be able to let go and enjoy intimacy.
“This is why it’s super important not to let stressful topics come up before you get intimate with your partner.”
Sext your way to better sex
A lack of foreplay can have a negative impact, so you can build up to the moment and encourage intimacy earlier – perhaps by sending each other naughty texts.
Annabelle says: “Talking about what you want and how you want it before the act itself creates positive anticipation.
“This can lead to more enjoyable sex.
“It also helps to communicate your expectations and desires to your partner, meaning that you’re more likely to get what you want in bed.”
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Make an effort
Not making an effort is a big passion killer, but this can quite literally mean anything, as long as you show your partner you care.
Annabelle says: “This has nothing to do with adhering to beauty standards and everything to do with showing your partner that your intimate pleasure is a priority to you.
“This also doesn’t need to be appearance-based.
“Any sort of effort goes a long way.
“This may be cooking your partner a meal if you don’t usually, running them a bath, or treating them to a sensual massage.”
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Practice being proactive
It’s also important to feel comfortable discussing your desires before you get down and dirty, and not leaving it to the last minute to reveal your fantasies.
Annabelle says: “Sexual mindfulness usually pertains to the physical act itself.
“However to be proactive with it means to use it as a way to look forward to sex with your partner.
“This feeds into bringing your fantasies and desires into the present moment, rather than waiting until you’re in bed together.”
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