A WOMAN has announced she is so much better than everyone else in Britain she must wed an Italian.  

Lucy, not her real name, of Stockport has deemed herself too sophisticated for every single one of Britain’s 13 million single men and therefore had no option but to go shopping abroad. 

Friend Lauren, not her real name, said: “She’s always thought she was a cut above, but I never thought she’d go this far. He’s called Giuseppe. 

“And yes, he’s very Mediterranean with his olive skin and open-necked shirt and sunglasses, but it’s ostentatious, isn’t it? Actually marrying a foreign national, just to prove the point that she considers herself beyond an engineer from Corby called Kevin? 

“It’s not like she’s dated every man in the UK. There might have been one out there who’d do. But instead she’s straight on Jet2 cooing over the first man she meets who loves his mama’s gnocchi and drinks espresso from a tiny cup. 

“What will they even talk about? I know for a fact she’s totally ignorant of Serie A. A few long evenings of him gesticulating about Puccini and she’ll wish she was slumped in front of the telly with a normal bloke who remembers Byker Grove.” 

She said: “I always knew I was more special than everyone else and this proves it.”