DEAR DEIDRE: THE man I’m in love with is 20 years older than me, and my dad says he will never accept the relationship.
Although I don’t have an issue with our age gap, I feel so torn.
I’m 26 and my partner is 46. We’ve been together for three years.
My dad ,59, and I have always been close. In fact, ironically, one of the reasons I fell for my partner is because they share many of the same qualities.
They’re both kind, stubborn, successful and funny.
Knowing Dad – who is very protective – would disapprove, I didn’t tell him about my partner until things were serious.
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He was furious. He said I was being used and would end up unhappy and that he would never give us his blessing or even meet my partner.
I hoped things would improve in time, but they haven’t.
My partner says I’m an adult with my own life, and shouldn’t still be seeking my parents’ approval.
I don’t know what to do – I love them both.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your partner is right. You are an adult and can’t live your life to please your father.
If you know he’s right for you, then continue with the relationship. See my support pack on Age Gaps.
Hopefully your dad will see you’re happy and learn in time to accept it. Parental love shouldn’t come with conditions.
But if you have doubts and think what your dad says is true, you need to be honest with yourself.
Family Lives (familylives.org.uk) might be able to help.