WANT to look like a person in their 30s and 40s with no interest in dressing like the younger generation? Here’s how.
Sneer at your phone
Chances are your social media algorithm is spamming your feed with exhausting fashion advice from people who can’t even remember 9/11. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Instead flaunt your utter contempt for their youthful optimism with a hearty sneer. You’re not jealous about no longer being the cool, young demographic at the centre of pop culture anymore. Not at all.
Spend your clothes budget on bills and rent
You could spunk your meagre income on thrifted clothes, wide jeans and pleated skirts. Or you could be a massive rebel and stick it to Gen Z by paying for your bills in your five-person house share. It may not be very brat of you, but you’re getting on a bit now and you have nothing to show for it. Don’t call this behaviour adult-core, you’ll only be playing into their hands.
Keep your side parting
The time for dicking about with your hair has long passed. You need to ride out whatever style you’re currently rocking until the grave or it all falls out. This means sticking with your side parting if your barber gave you one and you were too shy to say you didn’t like it. Wait a couple of years and you’ll probably be down with Gen Alpha anyway.
Wear whatever socks you want, life is too short to be hung upon this shit
Do Gen Z prefer knee-high socks or do they love low-cut ankle socks? It doesn’t matter. Wear whatever is clean in your sock drawer and focus on more important things in life, like absolutely anything else. You’ve only got roughly another 30 years on the clock so don’t waste another second on this trivial bollocks.
Adhere strictly to society’s gender norms
There’s no stronger way to communicate that you do not care about looking like Gen Z than by wearing a suit if you’re a man or a floral summer dress if you’re a woman. Pair these with an accessory like a heterosexual partner and you’ll be powerfully subverting the aesthetics of young people. You’ll also have morphed into everything you railed against as a teen but you no longer care.