A MAN who recently hit 40 has somehow managed to do so without taking on anything that could be considered a responsibility.
Alan, not his real name, is celebrating reaching his fifth decade without having to deal with annoying hassles like a wife, kids, mortgage or a stressful job he hates.
He said: “I didn’t start out meaning to not have any responsibility, but the more I’ve seen my friends take on, the less fun it looks.
“I work in a pub three streets from where I live. I get my parents to drop me off, which is easy as I still live with them. Not moving out has saved me a fortune and, no disrespect, but they’ll be dead soon which means I’ll have a three-bed semi all to myself.
“I spend my free time, which I have loads of, doing whatever I please with the added benefit of not being too skint, tired or busy to enjoy it. It’s brilliant.”
Wife, Khala, not her real name, said: “Alan basically like a big kid. He wastes all his money on clothes, video games and vegan booze. Yes, he has no stress but his life has zero meaning. Seriously, if he died tomorrow, the cats would notice at some point but I’m good. The lucky bastard.”