Thu. Nov 21st, 2024
Occasional Digest - a story for you

It was in 2021 that Janet Moses* first moved into the bungalow consisting of two flats that she shares with her male housemate in Ibadan, South West Nigeria. When she first moved in, a single woman lived in the other flat, but she moved out shortly after, which led to a couple moving in, and that was when her problems started. 

“Two months into their moving in, I was woken up by noises from their flat because the man was trying to beat up his wife. I tried to intervene many times. Once, she ran into my apartment shaking, and I tried to shield her from him,” Janet told HumAngle.

Apart from this issue, she also realised that the man in question had no respect for boundaries, which led her to put a respectful distance in her interactions with him. But that didn’t stop him from coming into her space, especially when the wife ran back to her family after a bad episode. It started to take a worse turn when he started hitting on her, which she turned down politely. 

Janet’s flatmate shuttles between Ibadan and other states, sometimes being absent for a month or two. This leaves her at the mercy of her neighbour, especially when his wife is absent. 

“If he realises my flatmate is not around, he will bother me when I do my laundry or other things in the compound. He even tried to invite me to his apartment or himself into mine, but I was firm in turning him down.” 

This made it very difficult for her to move freely around the house, especially when, one day, he approached her and grabbed her breast. 

“I was shocked at first and didn’t know how to respond. But I found my voice and started shouting at him and demanded to know why he touched me. He said it was because he liked me.” 

Janet started to feel unsafe coming out of her apartment when he was around, especially when she noticed he always found an excuse to come out when he saw her outside or find ways to touch her.

“I talked to him and even tried being aggressive, but he didn’t stop. I had to block him from seeing my status on WhatsApp because he would respond with sexual messages. I became very tired and scared, so I told a friend, and she advised me to gather evidence to report him.” 

He continued to harass her. One morning, he waited for her at the gate. She refused to greet him and attempted to walk past him. 

“He then started talking to me and attempted to grab me. I started shouting at him, telling him if he touched me again, he would not like my response. I told him that I was tired of him sexually harassing me.” 

He started defending himself, saying he was just joking and demanded to know what she would do about it. He kept following her, getting more aggressive with time. Feeling threatened, she started the audio recorder on her phone just in case something happened. 

As she turned to enter her apartment, he grabbed her again, and she pushed him away. He flew into a rage and started hitting her; the commotion caused a woman who runs a small shop in front of their house to rush in to intervene. 

In many parts of Nigeria, single women struggle to get places to rent due to their unmarried status. A BBC report shows that landlords assume the women are sex workers or are not financially buoyant enough to pay rent. However, in some cases such as this, their real problems start after they have rented those properties. 

Violence against women is not uncommon in Nigeria. According to the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), 1 in 3 women in the country have experienced some kind of physical violence by the age of 5. 

According to Niimah Mahmud, a house agent and Marketing and Sales Executive who has been in the business for 6 years, “An estimate of 65 to 70 per cent of clients I see are women. But it is a 50-50 thing getting an apartment as a single woman.  The landlords get concerned if you don’t have a job. If they can trace your office, it’s easier because they know rent renewal is possible.  When you are not married, they think you are a sex worker, but when a man is involved, it makes things easier.” She observed that when it comes to renting apartments to women, even families and society in general may have concerns about safety or societal beliefs that may make it harder for women to get housing.

Janet knew that she couldn’t let that assault go unpunished, and that was when she decided to take the big step. 

“A friend of mine took me to the police station to report later that day, and he was arrested. They saw my face and the recording also helped in proving my story. Before I went to the police station, he kept denying that he touched me, claiming that we were just playing, but he changed his tune when I sent him the audio recording.” 

He then started begging for mercy, he even brought a friend to knock and apologise at her door, which she ignored. But her greatest shock came with how the case was handled at the police station. 

Oyo state domesticated the Violence Against Persons (Prohibition) Act 2015, which provided a legal framework for the protection of people against many forms of sexual and physical violence, in 2020. However, this has done little to change the social backlash women face when they report these issues. 

“We went to the gender desk, and the female officers also started to apologise on his behalf, telling me we could solve it among ourselves since we were neighbours. They kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to charge him to court. I said yes, I would charge him for sexual harassment and physical assault.”

Even as she was writing her statement, one of the female officers came to meet her and said it wasn’t that serious. After all, he didn’t rape her; why was she trying to make a victim out of herself? 

“I knew he would have if he had the chance. There was one time that I accidentally left my door open, and he walked into my apartment around 9 p.m. I was scared, but I had to be firm in walking him out, even though I was scared. He claimed that he only came in to say hello.” 

When she played the audio in the police station, he started to claim again that he didn’t beat her, even going further to repeat that the only reason why he did what he did was because he liked her and wanted to date her. He got his family members, his wife and even a pastor to call and beg her not to charge him to court. 

“When I saw his mum at the police station, she came to beg me, and I told her to stop doing that nonsense. I told her we should try this method and hope he changes for good.” 

She was forced to find out the hard way what it costs to come out with her story after she told her flatmate and he blamed her for it, saying it was probably because she was being friendly with the man. 

When she told the house’s caretaker, he was upset that she hadn’t told him earlier before it got to that stage. “He even asked me if I was sure it was not a relationship gone sour that led to the assault.

“I think the man has the police in that particular station in his pocket. I can remember one time, his wife’s uncle came with the police to arrest him. He was taken to that police station near our house, and he came home bragging about how he only had to pay ₦100,000 [$63] for his release. People kept telling me to move out to spare my life, but I said I was going nowhere. It is he who will run, not me.” 

When they arrested him for her case, he was detained from Friday to Monday morning. The police officers still kept trying to convince her that she was taking it too far. Their first appearance in court was in November 2023, but the case was adjourned twice. The last time she went to court was in February. 

After a major fibroid surgery in April, she didn’t get to follow up on the case again. 

“Even though I haven’t yet gotten justice, I am glad I charged it to court. It feels like a small win for me, especially because he was charged to court on his birthday.”

Hassana Maina, the Executive Director of  Anti-sexual Violence Lead Support Initiative (ASVIOL), a nonprofit organisation committed to addressing sexual and gender-based violence in Nigeria, sheds more light on the issue. “Women are not safe anywhere, but it’s more disheartening when it has to do with rented spaces. After going through hurdles to get a house, you meet people who think they have a right to abuse you. This further continues due to the culture of impunity we have – by our actions or inactions, we make it look like it’s okay. That’s why my organisation is focused on ending sexual violence everywhere because we understand that violence, especially when it’s sexual, can be very gendered and comes from the sexist, patriarchal culture we have.”

Sometimes, the harassment that women face in rented spaces is so subtle that it leads to accusations of overreacting. 

For Jennifer David*, an undergraduate in Osun, South West Nigeria, it came in various forms, including wood drilling noises outside her room and loud music at random hours of the day (and night). When she complained, the neighbour asked her to text him on WhatsApp instead of approaching his door and knocking every time. One Sunday, when she was sick and the music started blaring at 5 in the morning, her complaint only led to him raising his voice and threatening her.

But it wasn’t just the noise that was an obstacle. The same neighbour once decided to go into the female bathroom without consulting any of the women to tile it. At another time, he came to the group chat and announced that he had installed a hanger for the women to hang their undies because it was ‘unsafe to dry them outside’ — again, without their consent. 

“These things were done without prior consultation. I was livid and felt unsafe, but it seemed I was the only one who was bothered in the group.  I didn’t want to look like a troublemaker, so I said nothing,” Jennifer narrated.

Forced to leave 

Medinat Adam*, a Muslim writer and content manager, first moved into the lodge in Lokoja, Kogi state, in 2021. 

“Living there was okay, and I had access to everything I needed as a remote worker, like water and electricity,” she said.

But the problems she would eventually face outweighed the benefits. For one, people around her would pass comments about how she covered up and her other life choices. Then there was the loud music and smoking close to her window. Then, there was the sexual harassment.

“When this particular neighbour moved in close to me, he consistently came around my window to make uncomfortable jokes or comment on my cooking,” she said. 

His actions creeped her out, but she tried to be polite in her response to him. 

Things escalated in September 2023 when she discovered someone had broken into her room after she had returned from camp. She suspected it was him, but because she had no conclusive evidence, she informed the landlady, who only asked her to forgive the person. 

“There were many times I caught him peeping at me through my window, and because of that, I had to start closing my curtains even when the weather was hot. Many times, he would offer unsolicited compliments. For instance, I was wearing a hijab one time, but he started telling me I had a very nice ass, and it made me feel sexualised.” 

This experience made her self-critical about what she wore, even though she knew the material was thick and long enough to cover everything. 

“There was a time his brother and even some other guys in the lodge joined him in harassing not just me but other girls in the lodge as well. They always wave it off as a joke.”

Medinat was sure it was him who entered her room, especially when he came to meet her privately after she announced it to the house, saying he would like to help pay for the noodles, beverages and spaghetti that were stolen, even though she didn’t mention the specific items to him.

This experience, especially the landlady’s reaction, solidified her decision to leave.

“But before leaving, I talked to him directly so he would know I knew what he did. I also made sure to speak to him in front of others.”



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