A MAN who is staying with friends has found himself paralysed by indecision after using the lavatory in the middle of the night.

Tom, not his real name, has spent close to an hour wrestling with the dilemma of whether his hosts would be more irritated to be woken up by a flushing toilet at 3am or greeted with a bowl of hours-old urine at 8am.

He said: “I’m losing my mind here. What’s the right thing to do? Is there a right thing to do? What do other people do? Have I done this before? I can’t remember anything before this.

“Of course, it could have been worse. And then you’d absolutely have to flush. No question. But then you might have to flush at least twice, at which point they are awake and know exactly what’s going on. Every cloud etc.

“I think the best thing is for me to get dressed and quietly slip out right now. I’ll send them an email in a couple of days explaining what happened. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

Meanwhile, one of Tom’s hosts, Emma, not her real name, said: “It’s all a moot point really. We’ve been awake since he, presumably, banged his knee on the corner of the bed and shouted, ‘fucksticks’.”