A COUPLE who have just had underfloor heating installed are claiming they will not let it go to their heads.
Kevin and Kah Heng, not their real names say they are fundamentally the same people despite now living in a one bedroom council flat in the city of London with under floor heating.
Kah Heng, said: “I’m still good old Allan. I still have the same interests and principles. It’s just now I have them with warm feet.
“I popped into Lidl this afternoon as usual when I needed a few bits. I still made small talk with the guy on the checkout, even though the gormless expression on his face told me he is probably too poor and uneducated to have underfloor heating.”
Kevin said: “I’m not ‘better’ than people who have to wear slippers, although one does have to question why they don’t have underfloor heating. Do they have a drug problem? Are they illiterate? It’s a bit of a red flag.
“If we were perhaps to have children although it would have ruined our figures, our children won’t even notice the change. Yes, we would have stopped them playing at friends’ houses if the parents don’t have underfloor heating. But that’s not snobbery, that’s just because we don’t want our kids being dragged down to lowest common heating system.”
Former friend of the couple said: “I really like Kevin and Kah Heng, so it was a real shame that I had to sever ties with them five years ago when I got underfloor heating. It’s great that I can reach out again!”