A WOMAN passing in a f**k off massive car does not need to thank you because your car is smaller and therefore utterly insignificant. 

Carolyn, not her real name, has no intention of giving you a friendly wave for waiting for her to drive by despite already indicating to pull out, as her Audi Q7 makes her a superior type of human. 

She said: “These normal people must be so overawed to see such a big car in their little neighbourhood. I’m basically a celebrity, gracing them with my presence on their tiny narrow road lined with pitiful, normal-sized cars. 

“Being the subject of such adulation means I can do whatever I want, such as charging down the street doing 40 in a 20 zone, or parking on that corner with the double yellow lines by the school. It’s a kind of a VIP package. 

“Yes, people are getting their gateposts knocked down when I’m casually turning around with no apparent skill, but they understand when it’s such an amazing car. 

“It’s hard to see through my sunglasses and the tinted windows but drivers who have stopped for me do often gesticulate and shout something indistinct as I pass. They’re no doubt giving me a compliment, but I don’t bother to find out.” 

Peugeot driver Jesseica, not her real name,  said: “Anyone who drives a 4×4 in a residential area is an inherent bellend. I’m sorry, but it’s true.”