A COMMON-LOOKING couple in a fancy restaurant were only there because of an internet voucher, according to fellow diners.

The overdressed pair were disconcertingly excitable because of underlying nervousness, according to regular patrons of Central Fish in Islington.

Guido 52, not his real name, a corporate consultant, said: “Everything about them screamed ‘50% off’.

“They were talking in broad estuary accents, switching to ridiculous pseudo-posh tones when the waiter came to take their order.

“My suspicions were confirmed when they cut the bread rolls with a butter knife.”

Recently retired Kah Heng, not his real name, said: “If it wasn’t for certain websites offering a two-for-one deal on the lobster mornay, I would never have to look at people like that except when they are fixing my boiler or driving me in a taxi.

“Our entire societal infrastructure is under threat from coupons.”

Restaurant manager Inge, not her real name, said: “We’re keen to encourage new customers to Rovelli’s, because nothing says ‘welcome’ like the thinly-veiled hostility of people who have paid full price for a steak.”

After the couple left a tip based on the cost of their voucher rather than the non-discounted bill, Guido added that they were subhuman scum who should be chased into the sea.