Connor Jay McLachlan sent his partner a number of threatening voice and text messages and would regularly turn up to her house and subject her to a horrific tirade of abuse.
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On a number of occasions he would also force his way into her home.
In one voice message he said: “You’ve got options here now to help yourself. Help me to help you because I can’t control myself, like you already know.
“I’m not turning around, nothing is going to stop me. So ring me now, while I’m still calm, before I’m losing my head”.
In others he said: “Remember, actions are reactions”…”This is the last time I am going to stay calm”…”I mean it now, I’m not playing games”…”I promise you, I’m not messing around”…”You think you’re clever do you blocking my phone number, blocking me on Facebook, blocking me on Snapchat. I’m shaking now, remember this later, just you wait.”
The woman, who is anonymous due to legal reasons, would be bombarded with message from McLachlan every time she tried to end the relationship, while he would turn up at her door and refuse to take no for an answer.
He would also spread messages about her on social media.
While she would suffer physical, emotional and sexual violence, she said: “It was easier to live with the abuse than have the backlash of him.
“It was easier to just shut up.”
McLachlan was able to isolate her from her friends and family and encouraged her to move away from her support systems.
He also blamed her for the violence he inflicted on her, making her believe it was her fault he was unable to control himself.
He would put me in the kitchen and make me act like a dog. He would spit on me and put me in the cage and treat me like a dog
McLachlan’s victim
McLachlan also said he was her fault that he beat and raped her and that she deserved to be forced to act like a dog and be spat on.
The woman was able to cut him off for two weeks but the day she returned to her home he turned up and tried to force his way in, Wales Online reports.
She said: “That’s when I reported it then because I thought ‘he’s going to kill me’.”
McLachlan, 28, from Port Talbot, was arrested in September 2023.
He was found guilty at Swansea Crown Court of 11 charges against her, which ranged from damaging her property to controlling or coercive behaviour and rape.
He was found not guilty of two counts of intentional strangulation and rape.
McLachlan was given an extended sentence of 13 years and three months on April 25, 2024.
More than a decade of that must be spent behind bars.
He dragged me by my hair, strangled me, I thought he was going to kill me in the lane by my house
McLachlan’s victim
He was also handed a lifetime restraining order banning him from contacting his victim.
Even though McLachlan is now in prison, she says she still feels terrified of her former partner.
She said she didn’t sleep and suffered from anxiety and flashbacks and was still scared.
The controlling or coercive behaviour started almost immediately in their relationship.
He would take her phone and reply to friends’ messages so that she couldn’t speak to them.
At first, she didn’t really notice what was going on and while other people would tell her things, she would just brush it off.
She admitted things got worse when she moved away and didn’t have any friends nearby and she wasn’t allowed to see anyone.
Eventually, he completely isolated her and he would ring her “non-stop” and she would have to answer straight away, if she didn’t he would go round to her house and “kick off”.
He even physically attacked her in public, she alleges.
She said: “He beat me up one night after we had been out drinking.
HOW YOU CAN GET HELP:
Women’s Aid has this advice for victims and their families
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
“He dragged me by my hair, strangled me, I thought he was going to kill me in the lane by my house. He didn’t care about being in public.”
She claims he strangled her and wrecked her house before forcing her to get in his car while he was drunk and took her to his grandmother’s house where he raped her.
At one point he held a machete to her hair and said he was going to kill her, she claims.
She did try to escape by climbing out of a window but he dragged her back in.
When they eventually went to bed, that was when he raped her, she says.
Following another violent incident, he forced her to walk home covered in bruises and with ripped clothes and no phone.
His ex-partner added he would constantly threaten to harm or kill her and would “look” for an argument.
According to her, he would tell her it was because he loved her that he was doing these things to her.
‘STUCK AND TRAPPED’
She added that while she tried to leave “so many times” he would also find her and she was “stuck and trapped”.
The woman said: “It got to the point where it was every other day to every day.
“He would put me in the kitchen and make me act like a dog. He would spit on me and put me in the cage and treat me like a dog.”
Due to the injuries she suffered, she would rarely leave the house, and if she did it was often only to take her kids to school and then go straight back home again.
She bravely gave evidence during a five-day trial at Swansea Crown Court, an event she said was “petrifying”.
The woman gave evidence behind a board so she didn’t have to see his face but she wanted to let the jury see how small she was compared to McLachlan.
Because he had knocked so much confidence out of her, she thought that even with a trial, he would get away with it.
She added that she was now speaking out so people knew who he was and to try to prevent this from happening to anyone else.
The woman said: “And because I need to get over it as well and I need to realise that it wasn’t my fault. I want to help other people too.”
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