Sun. Dec 22nd, 2024
Occasional Digest - a story for you

DISGUSTED residents have slammed a freshly erected monument which they say looks like a massive 20ft penis.

The phallic-shaped pillar – which has spheres at its base – shot up in a London park this week, to the surprise of locals.

Locals have slammed a new phallic-shaped monument that's popped up in their park4

Locals have slammed a new phallic-shaped monument that’s popped up in their parkCredit: SWNS
Residents in Bromley say the pillar 'looks like a penis'

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Residents in Bromley say the pillar ‘looks like a penis’Credit: SWNS
They say they can't stop gawking at it - and the spheres at its base

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They say they can’t stop gawking at it – and the spheres at its baseCredit: SWNS
Residents who walk around Betts Park say everyone's talking about the size

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Residents who walk around Betts Park say everyone’s talking about the sizeCredit: SWNS

The stone obelisk in Betts Park, Bromley was designed to look like Cleopatra’s needle, but four sandstone balls were added to the bottom of it.

Residents and dog walkers alike say they’ve spent days laughing at the column – and commenting on its size.

Sam Vale, 42, walks in the small, 13-acre park twice a day with her dog.

The office worker said: “I can’t stop shaking my head and laughing at it.

“Luckily, I can’t see it from my bedroom window, but I know others who can, and they’re less than impressed by the size of it.

“An obelisk going on the plinth is a bit weird, but fine, I suppose, but it wasn’t a good idea to put balls at the bottom.

“They weren’t on the original plan, otherwise I might have politely suggested they be removed.

“I don’t mind them doing up the park, but I’d rather they spruced up the signs and benches, rather than giving everyone something to gawp at.

“You really couldn’t make it up.”

During the planning phase of the project, only one local objected to the Bromley Council.

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They wrote: “What on Earth are they thinking of?

“The park is an open space of natural beauty in the midst of a concrete jungle.

“The last thing it needs is more concrete imposed on it, never mind the greater environmental damage of producing and transporting a giant bit of concrete to a green open space.

“Madness.”

The pillar stands 20ft high, sits on a plinth in the middle of the historic park and is so big it’s hard to miss.

Plans to get it up started last year – and the monument was finally standing tall as of yesterday.

Luckily, I can’t see it from my bedroom window, but I know others who can, and they’re less than impressed by the size of it.

Sam ValeLocal

But the Friends of Betts Park, who proudly erected the monument, said that they were glad locals had noticed the phallic statue – and were talking about it.

Alan Pottinger, the group’s secretary, said: ”Friends of Betts Park are thrilled to have been able to construct this obelisk in Betts Park, Anerley.

”It’s taken a lot of hard work and years of planning to create a focal point for our tiny town on the very edge of the London Borough of Bromley, overshadowed by the ruins of the Crystal Palace.

”The monument will soon be dedicated as Heart of Anerley with its purpose being to celebrate the bicentenary of Anerley in 2027, and be a permanent equitable memorial to everyone whose names never get written on monuments.

”Friends of Betts Park will continue working hard with Anerley Town Hall and local councillors to regenerate our special corner of London.

”If persons on social media wish to remember the obelisk as phallic then we have achieved our goal of being noticed and remembered.

”Anyone is welcome to visit and there are guided tours in June as part of the London Festival of Architecture.”

The Sun has approached Bromley Council and Friends of Betts Park for comment.

Mystery penis statue found buried in Sweden

By Sean Keach

A LARGE stone penis that may have been used for sacrificial fertility rituals has been uncovered in Sweden.

The bizarre phallic statue has been linked to a Bronze Age fertility cult – and stands erect at nearly two-feet high.

Archaeologists uncovered it by accident while investigating a site earmarked for construction in Rollsbo, Sweden.

The hardy member was initially thought to be a paving stone, but turned out to be a giant todger.

“When we excavated the rocks, we saw something that deviated from everything else. It was on the ground but had been raised in this past,” said archaeologist Gisela Ängeby, speaking to the Göteborgs-Posten.

“There was a 52cm-long stone shaped like a penis.”

Gisela continued: “In archaeological contexts however, one is careful to call it a phallus.

“It has a distinct phallus shape. I thought when I stumbled upon it that ‘oh my god, it can’t be true’.

“I showed the picture to colleagues and there is no debate about it: it has a very penis-like shape.”

The penis statue was found alongside two burnt bones believed to have come from animals.

This small number of bones suggest that the site isn’t a burial ground.

However, archaeologists say that the bones and nearby stones surrounding the weathered willy indicate that it was a Bronze Age sacrificial site.

This may have involved slaughtering animals as part of fertility rituals.

“I believe that in connection with the erection, it was used to offer sacrifices, for example within the framework of a fertility cult,” said Gisela.

According to experts, the stone may have been phallic-shaped naturally – but the design was later reinforced.

“Standing stones in the middle of stone paving are not uncommon.

“But just the way it is designed is a little special.

“It is partially weather and then carved. And that’s how the shape has been reinforced.”

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