The first few episodes have certainly not disappointed. Beyond the beautiful sun-soaked Italian masseria and expected level of romantic chaos, it was a discussion between the cast in the second episode regarding the label ‘lesbian’ that really struck a chord with me.
One of the cast members and fellow northerner, Georgia, spearheaded the conversation by asking the girls – in a faux-whispered tone – how they felt about the word ‘lesbian’.
While one or two reactions were positive, such as Priya’s confident response that she didn’t think people should “shy away” from the word, the majority of the cast replied that they preferred to describe themselves as ‘gay’ or ‘queer’, with one contestant — Naee — stating, “I don’t like using the word lesbian.” I immediately related.
Like many of the cast, I had so frequently heard the label ‘lesbian’ used in a wholly negative way. Like ‘gay’, it was casually thrown around for years by some peers at school as an almost slur — a marker of total difference and rendering any unlucky target as an object of mockery, disgust and gossip. God forbid someone ‘acted’ or ‘looked like a lesbian’. I still wince when thinking about it.
As Georgia went on to say, “growing up, it was used in a way to sort of suggest that there was something wrong with you” — because of this, when I started questioning my sexuality, being a lesbian didn’t even seem like an option to me.
It wasn’t until I left school that I could even admit to myself that I was one, nevermind describe myself in that way. The word didn’t even come out, no pun intended, of my mouth until a long time later while at university.
Even then, and still sometimes now, I frequently struggled to say it — like Naee and many of the I Kissed a Girl cast, preferring ‘gay’ or ‘queer’.
It has been powerful and much-needed positive recent media representations of lesbians, ranging from conversations such as on I Kissed a Girl, to characters including the relatable, anxious ‘wee lesbian’ schoolgirl Clare Devlin in Derry Girls and charismatic high-school couple Tara and Darcy from Heartstopper, that have allowed me to become more comfortable with the word as I have become older.