Gone are the Judy Blume nightmares of being groped by a brusque fitter telling you what your bust will never be. These bra shops work hard to make sure anybody with breasts that need support feels good in their body. If something doesn’t fit, it’s not us — it’s the bra, and they know there is another one out there that will fit.

Each fitter I met wanted their customer to be happy with their purchase, knowing they would be wearing it for hours, that bras truly are a foundational part of our wardrobes. They reminded me that we deserve to be comfortable as we move through our day, and they understood that a bad bra can be like a tiny, quiet demon, hexing us relentlessly.

A lot of us don’t even know these shops exist, or if we do, we’re afraid of the process — of getting naked in front of a stranger, or being forced to spend too much on something that will always be cheaper at Target.

Every fitter I met was respectful of my privacy, and only came into my dressing room at my request. Prices vary, but the real gold is having somebody who knows bras figure out your size and fit. All my fitters understood my budget concerns and never guilted me into buying a bra I couldn’t afford.

Here’s what to expect at most fittings:

• Very few shops are walk-in. You usually need to make a fitting appointment online or by phone. When you arrive, often the front door will be locked until the time of your appointment.
• The fitter will ask you to take your shirt off but leave your bra on. They will assess your size and talk about the current bra you are wearing and the fit issues you are having.
• They will bring you bras they think will be a good fit for your body, and will often leave you alone in the room to try them on. You will only see the fitter again when you are in your bra.
• The fitter will always ask before they touch you, or if you want them to stay in the room as you change. Saying no is completely fine.
• Most fitting appointments are 30 to 45 minutes long. You might find the perfect bra immediately, or you might try on 30 bras. Check in with your fitter if you feel you are going over time.
• Let the fitter know your budget. It’s fine to pass on the world’s most comfortable bra if it is out of your budget. Most shops will keep a wishlist of bras you loved.
• These are small businesses offering an incredible level of customer service, so resist the urge to take a picture of the bra that fits and try to find it cheaper online. You are not required to buy anything, but it will be hard to walk away when you find a great fit. Only make an appointment if you are truly open to making a purchase.

In my research for this guide, I was told I wear six different bra sizes, and by the end, I realized, bra size itself means nothing. It’s only the fit that counts, and that fit changes not only from brand to brand but from each style within a brand and each color and fabric within a style. Most fitters didn’t use a measuring tape. They all knew bodies so well that often, by sight, they knew what size to start with and what bras we should explore.

The women who fit me had been doing it for years, and often inherited the business from their mothers and grandmothers. They had seen everything under the sun and were tired of customers apologizing for their bodies. These women love their work and want everybody to know about it, and to know there was no reason to try to decipher the world of bras alone with a laptop and a measuring tape.

Go get fit, I tell everybody I know complaining about a bra. I’m wishing for them a great bra but also, an afternoon of care, delight and serious lift.