He endured jokes about his divorce, his business decisions, his love life, his multiple retirements, his former teammates, his ex-wife, his healthy lifestyle and much more — all with a smile on his face.
And that was just in the first 20 minutes of “The Roast of Tom Brady” at the Kia Forum that was streamed live on Netflix.
One gag, however, apparently crossed the line as far as Brady was concerned — and the seven-time Super Bowl champion wasn’t even the butt of that particular joke. The target was New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, the man who signed Brady’s paychecks for the first 20 years of his 23-year NFL career.
After host Kevin Hart opened the show with a blistering monologue — “Why didn’t we go to the Crypto.com Arena downtown? Well, the reason why we didn’t go there is because we didn’t want to remind Tom’s fans of how much money he owes them” — comedian and celebrity roast staple Jeff Ross kept the hits coming. He talked about how Brady was drafted in the sixth round with the 199th pick of the 2000 NFL draft “when Bill Belichick’s dog stepped on the keyboard by accident.”
“So Tom became a Patriot,” Ross said, “moved up to New England and on the first day of training camp, that scrawny rookie famously walked into the owner Robert Kraft’s office and said, ‘I’m the best decision your organization has ever made. Would you like a massage?’”
The joke was a reference to Kraft being arrested in 2019 on charges of soliciting sex from a prostitute during an encounter at a Florida day spa. Kraft pleaded not guilty, and the charges were dropped the following year after his lawyers prevented video and audio footage from being used as evidence in court.
As the crowd laughed and Ross blew a kiss in Kraft’s direction, Brady could be seen shifting in his seat behind and to the right of the comedian. The camera cut to a close shot of Ross, who said “I love Robert Kraft.”
Brady then approached Ross. The NFL’s all-time leader in passing yards and touchdown passes had a bit of a smile on his face, but his tone was dead serious when he leaned in and said to Ross, “Don’t say that s— again.”
As Brady returned to his seat, Ross laughed, put his hands up and said, “OK, OK!” He pointed in Kraft’s direction and said, “He’s having fun, look at him.” As Ross added some sincere words of praise for Kraft, the Patriots owner was shown smiling in the crowd.
Brady didn’t appear to hold a grudge and could be seen laughing during the rest of Ross’ set. The two men embraced and spoke after Ross’ performance — a scene Hart mocked by implying Ross was kissing up to the GOAT. “I heard you over there,” Hart said. “‘Tom, you all right? Yeah? Your hair’s so straight.’”
Brady absorbed many more barbs throughout the evening without feeling the need to step in again.