Ruth Russell, 75, has never met the woman she exchanges letters with once a month.
But over the past two years, the pair have forged a friendship through handwritten notes, postcards, photos and crochet patterns in the mail.
“[Letter writing] is a dying art,” Mrs Russell said.
“It appeals to me because once you put it down on paper, how you’re feeling and what you’re doing, it’s between you and that person — no one else.”
The women, from Rockhampton and Sydney, are war widows of Vietnam veterans.
Mrs Russell’s husband died in 2017.
The pen pals were paired as part of a program run by Australian War Widows Queensland.
Coordinator Lindy Beehre said the network of letter writers included women across Australia ranging in age from their 40s to their late 90s.
“The idea initially emerged from the onset of COVID, when we recognised that isolation that many war widows living alone were experiencing,” Ms Beehre said.
“We wanted to provide a platform where war widows who couldn’t leave their homes could still connect to share experiences and find companionship.”
Lifelong friendships
Since then, Ms Beehre has been overwhelmed by “touching stories” of connection that have continued long after COVID restrictions lifted.
“I recently spoke to one 90-year-old member who has been corresponding with a widow in her 50s for the last four years,” she said.
“Their bond has grown beautifully and they’ve provided each other with support and wisdom across the generations.”
One participant’s arthritis became too debilitating for her to continue writing letters — so she and her pen pal now speak on the phone once a week.
“It really does create lifelong friendships,” Ms Beehre said.
There are more than 34,000 Australian war widows and widowers registered with the Department of Veterans’ Affairs.
The pen pals include women whose husbands served in World War II, Vietnam and Afghanistan.
“There’s various stages of grief that our members go through … and this presents a beautiful opportunity for the war widows to support each other,” Ms Beehre said.
The organisation has recently started a new pen pal program with war widows from the UK.
Reviving the dying art of letter writing
For Mrs Russell, a retired nurse who grew up in the bush, much of the appeal comes from keeping the art of letter writing alive.
“I used to wait weeks for a letter from my husband when he was in Vietnam,” she said.
“We used to number our letters as we wrote them, so that when they came to me at the hospital, I’d get a pile of five or six of them and I’d look at the numbers to see which one to read first.
“I’ve still got them. I’ve got two boxes of his letters.”
Australia Post said households now receive an average of just two letters a week – a figure expected to halve in the next five years.
Mrs Russell said she had exchanged highs, lows and craft tips with her interstate pen pal.
“Early on, she said she used to crochet but she’d forgotten, so I sent her a crochet pattern with crochet stuff, and she made her granddaughter a poncho,” she said.
“She’s now crocheting things for one of the local hospitals to give their babies.
“Even though I haven’t seen her in person, there is still a friendship there.
“I feel that if I went to Sydney, I could pop in and say g’day.”