“No,” it shouted, started and helpless.

That’s when everyone by the beach turned my way, with faces showing great concern. Because it was my voice. A sea gull had swooped, grabbed my hot dog and carried it away. The shout had left my body before I could think.

Immediately, the Vancouverites understood this. Then, with the same equanimity that allows so many Canadians to commit violence in ice rinks while displaying civility at all other times, they turned away and resumed their day.

Let this be a lesson, all you who daydream of escaping to this place that people call the California of Canada. Amid the seaside parks, forest paths, stylish skyscrapers, good food and mingled cultures, you may begin to suspect that Vancouver is a superior version of home. But its seagulls are no better than ours.

In fact, the city is full of moments like that for a Southern California visitor. One minute, you’re feeling at home or slightly better than you do at home. The next, you’re confronting a menu full of poutine. Or realizing that the toilet is in a place called the Washroom. Or getting rained on.

Everyone drives on the right, but somehow, no freeways connect to downtown.

Every year, movie, TV and streaming studios spend billions on shoots here, yet much of time Vancouver is standing in for Seattle, San Francisco or some other city.

There’s volleyball on the beach — but when the temperature dips near freezing, they keep playing.

And all the while you hear people speaking English that’s mostly like ours, but the signage is riddled with references to travellers, colours, harbours and Tim Hortons. (Horton, whose name is on Canada’s leading coffee-shop chain, was a pro hockey player and, apparently, an enemy of possessive apostrophes.)

This almost-familiarity kept me on my toes through several days of roaming Vancouver in March. For all those thinking about their own escapes, here are 14 very Vancouver adventures.

By the way, I’m talking about a short-term escape, not a post-election change of residence. I’ve also included a few spots on Vancouver Island, a popular side trip. All the prices here are in U.S. dollars. (At recent trading rates, $1 U.S. is worth $1.34 Canadian.)