A MAN who had spent all week complaining about a night out he was forced to go on with close friends is deeply annoyed at himself for enjoying it. 

40-year-old Tim, not his real name, from Melbourne was roped into an evening of pizza, drinks and crazy golf with four old university friends, tried to get out of it multiple times, was left with no choice but to grudgingly attend, and to his dismay had a great time.

He said: “We met at an IPA lounge like absolute arseholes, though the beer was good and the music wasn’t too loud and actually it was nice to get out.

“Everyone was pleased to see me, to the point I had to physically force the sides of my mouth down on principle after the fuss I’d made to my wife about how desperate I was not to go.

“Irritatingly, the night only got better from there. Golf was fun, drinking was fun, I haven’t felt so young in a long time, I really bonded with them on a deep level and it’s pissed me right off.

“It was 4am when I got back, in a state of intense turmoil about my own gratification and also because of a kebab. My wife said ‘See, I told you it’d be fun,’ so that’s made me look a twat as well.

“The lads have all decided we should do this again some time. I suggested trying the new buffet place in the Corn Exchange. I’m sickened by myself.”