As long as you don’t go for those ugly, gigantic, spidery jobs, they can look great and quite elegant.

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I don’t see any harm in them.

Unless, of course, they are on a child.

But at a school in Kent, kids are now being allowed to have falsies as part of the school uniform.

A weak-willed head said he had no choice but to introduce the “discreet” lashes policy at Knole Academy in Sevenoaks, because pupils were missing lessons to have their lashes removed or refusing to attend school without them due to mental health considerations.

Head David Collins says they “need to have a standard of dress which helps to create a work ethos and sets parameters for behaviour. In this case, having students in school is the most important consideration”.

That state of children’s mental health in this country is shocking and terrifying.

It is an increasing problem, but allowing kids to grow up too fast will surely never help.

And all those children whose parents do the only sensible thing and say no to them are going to suffer and feel like little ugly ducklings every day compared to their fluttering friends.

One parent said the school is riddled with peer pressure, which has always been cripplingly hideous for kids.

Opening floodgates

And studies have shown that children who wear uniforms — and therefore don’t need to worry about their outfit — worry less about being bullied.

So surely the easiest and best thing for those children would be to say no to all falsies instead of opening the floodgates for those without them to get bullied.

No parent of a school-age kid should be letting them have eyelashes glued to their eyelids.

And unless they are rolling in money, those children are at risk of going to cheap backstreet salons and putting themselves in danger of infection or a corneal abrasion.

Children should be encouraged to be children — to concentrate on playing and getting on with their schooling — instead of spending hours in a beauty salon.

Of course, having children in school is important, but who in their right mind thinks that you should need to bribe a kid to go to lessons with a pair of lashes?

Kids must be encouraged to savour every single minute of their childhood

What this pathetic head has done is give in and let the children take charge.

What next? Allowing them to run around in PE with tattoos and acrylic talons.

Kids should not be making the rules in school and running rings around the teachers.

They should be told they are there to prepare for adult life, not as extras for a reality TV show.

And they must be encouraged to savour every single minute of their childhood because we all know those carefree school years will pass by in the blink of an eye.

Breast day ever

YOU don’t have to be a follower of fashion to rejoice in the fact that models on the Paris catwalks ditched their bras this week.

There’s nothing better than pulling off that uncomfortable underwired number the minute you get home.

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With a bit of clever dressing, this could be a much more comfortable, liberating and fashionable summer for many of us.

Olivia’s confession

IT’S so tiresome when a celebrity claims they’ve not had any work done.

You know the type: “Oh, I’ve never had Botox, I just have good facials and fantastic genes.”

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Yes. Whatever.

So 50-year-old Olivia Colman quizzing Vernon Kay about how he stayed looking so young was an utter breath of fresh air.

When he said he’d never had Botox, she replied: “Oh, I’ve had loads.”

Yep, me too Olivia.

George, a paw choice for the Commons

FOR me, George Galloway will always be the man who enthusiastically welcomed the vile Jimmy Savile into the Celebrity Big Brother house and pretended to be a cat in an utterly cringeworthy moment with Rula Lenska.

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In a purr-fect world he wouldn’t be able to set foot in the House of Commons.

Moving side of biker Si

I SADLY know that when a friend you love dies, it is utterly heartbreaking.

And for Hairy Biker Si King the tragic loss of his 66-year-old mate Dave Myers from cancer is also the end of the wonderful TV cookery partnership they built up together.

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His tribute to his pal brought me to tears.

Si said: “My best friend is on a journey that for now, I can’t follow . . . see you on the other side. Love ya.”

We all hope to one day eventually see those we have lost on the other side.

 And I truly hope that this thought brings Si some peace.

Give me TV over ‘Vlad’

PAUL Lindley, who is a trustee of education company Sesame Workshop, the creators of Sesame Street, has warned that high-quality children’s programming is at risk of extinction.

Figures show that for six to 11-year-olds, just 15 per cent of their screen time comes via watching broadcast TV.

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Given a choice, my five-year-old will choose YouTube and watch tractors getting stuck in the mud (no, me neither) or the antics of Vlad and Niki.

For those lucky enough never to have heard of them, they are Russian American-born influencer brothers who love showing off their luxury lifestyles.

Paul rightly describes this kind of content as “dubious and dangerous”.

There’s very little in the way of encouraging imagination, but plenty in the way of product placement, which clearly works as my son wanted a sit-in car for his birthday “just like Vlad’s”.

He had to make do with a Spider-Man outfit.

Start to eat smart

WE are officially a bunch of fatties.

New figures show that one billion people are now obese around the world, with the number doubling for adults since 1990.

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Researchers this week said that showing calories on menus could help in our battle to lose weight and lead to a reduction in cardiovascular disease.

And scientists say the findings emphasise a need for the Government to consider extending mandatory calorie labelling to all food businesses.

But I totally disagree.

I went out for dinner with The Geordie on Tuesday and pored over the menu to find the dish with the least calories.

I was thrilled that it was a (very tasty, greasy and ultra-processed) snack-size sausage roll.

The Geordie ploughed his way through a massive chicken and avocado salad, which had 200 calories more.

It would be ridiculous to say that my meal was in any way healthier, even though it had fewer calories.

The nanny state watching your plate really isn’t the answer to us all being fatties.

A lot of education and a bit of common sense is.

I’d love a posh look

LUCKY Nicola Peltz.

Imagine being able to root around Victoria Beckham’s wardrobe and play dress up.

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This week Mrs Brooklyn Beckham stepped out in the same Dolce & Gabbana leather jacket that Victoria wore in 2001 to a Man United match when Nicola’s hubby was a toddler.

The pair have apparently had their ups and downs.

But if she was my mother-in-law – and I was skinny enough to wear her clothes – I’d certainly be keeping in her good books.