THE mother of a 23-year-old is worried that his wonderful new girlfriend is punching well below her weight.  

After being introduced to Lucy, Loraine, not their real names, was baffled as to what an attractive, intelligent and witty girl could possibly find appealing about her wastrel child Josh. 

Loraine said: “As soon as Miles, not his real name, left the room, probably to skin up in the garden or dump the dirty laundry he’d brought home near the washer, I took her aside to see if she was right in the head. 

“I explained that I have to love the boy as I’m his mother. But she, for some reason, is choosing to be with him of her own volition. Naturally I checked he wasn’t somehow blackmailing her. 

“I’m sure Miles likes her in his own pointless way, but she’s young and pretty and really needs to get out there and meet some different guys. In fact we made a list.” 

Lucy said: “Loraine definitely gave me food for thought. Miles is a bit unfocused, and not as considerate as he could be. Or as she put it, ‘an ungrateful, self-centred little twat who’ll drag you down to his level’.”  

Miles said: “Lucy seemed a bit quiet after talking to mum. I expect she’s feeling overwhelmed by a mother’s outpouring of unconditional love for her son.”